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Garfield-A Tail Of Two Kitties

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CD

1
NArRATOr: Once upon a time,

2
in an English castle far, far away,

3
there lived a pampered personage by the name of...

4
...Prince.

5
All right, everyone, he's awake.

6
Hurry! Hurry!

7
Come along, quickly.

8
right, are we all ready? Get the Carlyle log.

9
NArRATOr: Prince knew no other life

10
than a life ofluxury.

11
Oh, did I mention that Prince was a cat?

12
Good morning, Prince.

13
Your tea.

14
Mm-hmm-hmm! Breakie.

15
I have your favorite dish.

16
Carlyle log.

17
Ah, lovely.

18
Super.

19
Oh, it's good to be the king.

20
NArRATOr: On the other side of the world,

21
there lived an equally pampered cat

22
who thought he was a king,

23
but who ruled over a somewhat smaller domain.

24
Meow.

25
I'm the king of the cul-de-sac.

26
That's what I'm talking about.

27
Jon and I have everything I could ever want.

28
Food in the fridge. Cable and satellite.

29
And don't forget lasagna.

30
That's right. It's good to be king.

31
I want you to know, you're the most important thing in my life.

32
Let me sleep, please.

33
Before I met you, my life had no meaning.

34
I was incomplete.

35
Oh, you still are, really.

36
I guess what I'm trying to say is...

37
...will you marry me?

38
Eh? Marriage?

39
Well, this is kind of sudden.

40
There may be some legal issues here.

41
Look, I like you, but not as a spouse.

42
Maybe as a servant, we could stay together, make it work.

43
So what do you say... Liz?

44
- Wait a second. Liz? Liz? - Garfield.

45
Liz is a girl.

46
No, worse. She's a girl vet.

47
Turkey's ready.

48
Well, I think Jon has touched bottom now.

49
Hmm, we gotta put an end to this torture.

50
Time for a new DJ.

51
Somebody take my temperature.

52
Garfield!

53
Whoa!

54
Man, you have changed.

55
I can't have you messing this up for me, okay?

56
- Oh, I get it. It's her. - Come here.

57
She doesn't like our music.

58
Whatever happened toJon?

59
My metal-head guy. My dude.

60
You were so much cooler when you wore a mullet.

61
Now stay here.

62
So much cooler.

63
I suppose she likes this haircut.

64
- Coming! - Tell me she likes it the way it is now.

65
- Hey, Liz. - Jon, I have incredible news.

66
Guess who's going to be speaking at this year's fund-raiser

67
for the royal Animal Conservancy.

68
Siegfried and roy?

69
- Oh, come on. - Just Siegfried?

70
Jane Goodall dropped out at the last minute

71
because she's nursing a sick chimp

72
and they asked me.

73
I mean, it's gonna be at this really cool castle

74
on a huge estate.

75
Well, Liz, that-that's...

76
I am flying to London tomorrow morning.

77
- Can you believe it? - What?

78
I mean, I have to pack, and...

79
Oh, are these rose petals and candles?

80
Yeah, well, Liz, I have some...

81
some important news of-of-of my own.

82
Uh...

83
GArFI ELD: Hey, me, too.

84
Excuse me, do you believe in love at first sight?

85
I was hoping you'd say yes.

86
You have made me so very, very cat-happy.

87
- Uh... - Well, come on.

88
- What's the news? - The news is, I, uh...

89
I finally house-trained Odie.

90
- really? - Yeah.

91
That would explain the rose petals.

92
I have to pack.

93
I'm so sorry about dinner.

94
But you know what?

95
I will send your regards to the queen.

96
Okay, congratulations on Odie.

97
Oh, oh, yeah. And, hey, you, too.

98
They're lucky to have you.

99
Bye.

100
Oh, I thought she'd never leave.

101
Garfield, you ate the whole turkey?

102
Well, yeah.

103
What are you doing with this?

104
Oh, never mind.

105
It's too late. She's already off to...

106
Ooh!

107
Good stuffing.

108
Well, come on, cheer up.

109
- I saved you the wishbone. - There's nothing I can do.

110
Sure there is.

111
return the ring and get your money back.

112
Wait a minute. I'll go to London.

113
- Oh, you poor sap. - She'll love it.

114
- She'll be surprised. - Please don't do this.

115
- She'll be thrilled. - Tell me you're not gonna do this.

116
- She'll say yes. - Please, don't.

117
I gotta go pack.

118
You moron.

119
This is a huge mistake,Jon.

120
One of your biggest.

121
Don't roam. Stay home.

122
Odie and I are not just coming along for the ride, pal.

123
This is actually an intervention.

124
Okay, guys. Here we are.

125
Oh, quick flight.

126
We must have been in the jet stream.

127
England is no great shakes, huh?

128
I mean, the buildings here look like, uh, the kennel back home.

129
That is the kennel back home.

130
They'll never take me alive.

131
They're gonna be fine,Jon.

132
Yeah, yeah.

133
Garfield's never stayed in a kennel before,

134
so I'm afraid he might have

135
some separation anxiety.

136
No.

137
He's probably fast asleep in his cage by now.

138
You hear me, warden?!

139
I have the right to remain silent!

140
Anything I say can and will be held against me

141
in a court of law!

142
And I have the right to an attorney, too, pal!

143
And if I can't afford one, one must be provided for me

144
by the court!

145
Never mind!

146
I just broke out.

147
He likes a belly rub twice a day.

148
And, oh, if you could give him

149
a pan of lasagna between each meal,

150
that would be great.

151
Oh, almost forgot Pooky.

152
Can't be without Pooky.

153
Oh, great. Just when things were looking up.

154
Look, why don't ou stay here

155
and get your fleas removed,

156
maybe get a brain transplant?

157
Okay, go away. Beat it.

158
Hide beneath the wheels.

159
Agh! You're ripping my fur!

160
Aah! Get of. Get of. Get of. Get of.

161
Get in here! Get in! Get in!

162
Okay, so you have my cell phone

163
and you have the hotel number.

164
- Don't worry, I do. Bye now. - Okay.

165
GArFI ELD: Airport, and step on it.

166
Jon won't mind if I repack him.

167
We're gonna need some room in this bag.

168
Aah! You savage beast, how dare you!

169
Get out of here! Smithee!

170
There's something in the pool! Smithee!

171
There's a duck in my pool, Smithee.

172
A duck!

173
A duck, sir?

174
Filthy wild animal soaking itself in my pool.

175
What do you intend doing about this?

176
I shall speak to the duck, sir?

177
Mmm.

178
Oh, by the way, the solicitors are here

179
for the reading of Lady Eleanor's will.

180
Excellent.

181
In a few moments, I'll be the master

182
of this entire estate.

183
And from this day on,

184
things will be done my way.

185
This is the last will and testament

186
of Lady Eleanor Carlyle of Carlyle Castle.

187
"I declare this to be my last will and testament,

188
which I make, this first day of September"...

189
Keep still. They're reading Lady Eleanor's will.

190
I've got a bad feeling about this.

191
I can't watch.

192
If Lord Dargis gets the estate, we're done for.

193
We're doomed!

194
Shh! Quiet.

195
"To my devoted Smithee,

196
"I make thee caretaker of my estate.

197
"Care for my beloved animal friends

198
"as you have in the past

199
and you will always have a home at Carlyle Castle. "

200
Thank you, Madame.

201
She's dead, Smithee. You can stop sucking up.

202
"The rest of my worldly possessions,

203
"my castle and surrounding grounds,

204
I leave to the love of my life,

205
somebody who was like a son to me... "

206
Thank you, Aunt Eleanor. Oh, thank you.

207
Please let me finish, Mr. Dargis.

208
I'm sorry. I always get a little ahead of myself.

209
"I leave all my worldly possessions to my beloved kitty,

210
Prince the 12th. "

211
- That's incredible. - Oh, my word.

212
Entirely without precedent.

213
This is what it says.

214
But I'm her nephew, her only heir.

215
She can't have left it all to a cat.

216
I, Prince, the new lord of the castle?

217
Good show, Lady Eleanor.

218
Oh, bless her heart.

219
Can it be? We are delivered.

220
Thank you, Winston.

221
The will clearly states that you may stay on

222
at Carlyle Castle and receive your usual stipend

223
of, uh... 50 pounds a week.

224
- Fifty pounds?! - Upon Prince's passing,

225
after what we assume will be a long and happy life,

226
ou will receive the castle, the land

227
and your title.

228
But that fat ball of fur could last for another 15 years!

229
Let us hope so.

230
The castle was built over 600 years ago

231
by Lord Franklin Carlyle.

232
Now, the initial structure is late medieval in style...

233
In the west wing, we'll put the pool and spa.

234
Yes, and where would the squash courts be?

235
Oh, there he is!

236
- That's unbelievable. - Oh, hello.

237
Snap your photos. Unfortunately, I can but spare a few moments...

238
Hey, buddy, do you mind stepping aside?

239
I can't get a good shot of the cat.

240
Greetings, all. Hello.

241
So glad. So very, very glad.

242
May I remind you this is private property?

243
Oh, relax, bro, it's not like you own the place.

244
We shall see.

245
To all the royal subjects,

246
I give you the new possessor of Carlyle Castle:

247
Prince the 12th!

248
PrI NCE: To one and all,

249
I pledge, from this day forward,

250
to rule my kingdom with wisdom and valor.

251
And as long as I reign,

252
ou shall continue to have safe haven

253
here on the bountiful grounds of Carlyle.

254
Thank you. That is all.

255
Hip-hip hooray!

256
Long live Prince!

257
I think that went frightfully well.

258
Don't you, Winny?

259
Sire, I hasten to remind you

260
that Lord Dargis has every reason to get rid of you.

261
Oh, Winny, pooh-pooh.

262
I'm his favorite kitty-cat.

263
Hello, little Prince.

264
What a beautiful day for a picnic, of course.

265
Oh, no, thanks, old boy.

266
You just run along and enjoy yourself.

267
Hey! What the devil...?!

268
So it's hide-and-seek ou want to play.

269
All right, I'll count to 100.

270
Hello, rommel.

271
...three, four, five...

272
...35, 36, 37, 38...

273
...96, 97, 98, 99, 100.

274
All right, fair warning.

275
ready or not, here I come...

276
Bon voyage, Prince.

277
Oh, dear me.

278
I may have misjudged the old boy.

279
Perhaps he is somewhat of a scoundrel.

280
After all, this is not the way one plays hide-and-seek.

281
Oh, blimey.

282
Will that be all, sir?

283
Oh, yes, thank you.

284
Uh... thank you.

285
Thank you, sir.

286
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, um...

287
how do I look?

288
Lovely, sir?

289
No, see, I'm proposing to my girlfriend.

290
She's staying just down the hall.

291
I want to make sure I look...

292
Well, let's see now.

293
It needs a certain...

294
Ah!

295
May I, sir?

296
There we are.

297
- Hugh Grant. - Great.

298
Uh, oh, could you deliver this to the girl in room 407?

299
Of course, sir.

300
Oh, and, uh...

301
and this.

302
Cary Grant, sir.

303
Jon?

304
Hey!

305
But, what are you doing here?

306
Well, it's just Fashion Week. Where else would I be?

307
This is incredible.

308
I cannot believe that you're here.

309
So you're glad?

310
Glad? I'm thrilled.

311
But London?

312
I mean, did you come all the way here just for me?

313
Yeah, it's nuts.

314
In fact, I, uh...

315
I want us to be together, uh...

316
Odie!

317
Come here!

318
Oh, yeah.

319
Air... water... lasagna.

320
Garfield?

321
That's the hello I get?

322
13 hours in a bag with a farting dog?

323
Ooh, you know, they have quarantine laws here.

324
Don't let Odie out of your sight.

325
They might deport him.

326
Deport Odie?

327
Oh, I like this country already.

328
Oops!

329
Okay, I'm gonna need a litter box,

330
a room service menu and the TV remote,

331
and in that order.

332
Anyone needs me,

333
I'll be in my office.

334
Where are my clothes?

335
Cool.

336
My very own cat tub.

337
Gol-lee!

338
NIGEL Got it.

339
Could have just come down and told me that, couldn't he?

340
All right. Listen up! Listen up! Farmyard news flash!

341
I've got some good news and some bad news.

342
Which would you like to hear first?

343
The bad news.

344
Lord Dargis just threw Prince in the river.

345
Okay, give me the good news.

346
He was in a lovely picnic basket.

347
If he throws us in the river, we'll never survive.

348
- You're ducks; you can swim. - Oh.

349
Winston, I'm next in line for the throne.

350
Uh-oh. This could get ugly.

351
I have here a list of new rules of governance.

352
Preston, I hardly think that's necessary...

353
rule Number One: The barnyard animals congregate

354
entirely too close to the castle.

355
We house pets need our space.

356
Oh, you've got enough space, laddie,

357
right between your ears.

358
You take that back!

359
I command you, as your new king.

360
Look, there's still a chance

361
Prince may find his way back here.

362
In the meantime, Claudius, ou get into the castle

363
and find out what Dargis is up to.

364
I'm on it. I'm your mouse on the inside.

365
I'll see what I can learn from my end.

366
I want to do something more cultural.

367
Okay, all right...

368
You're cold.

369
Getting colder.

370
You're an icicle.

371
You're frozen stiff.

372
Let's remind ourselves what we're looking for.

373
It's a hamburger.

374
A squeaky hamburger.

375
We take a walk through Hyde Park...

376
Excuse me? We "walk"?!

377
Then we stroll down

378
the incredibly cultural Piccadilly.

379
"Stroll"?

380
And then, boom_ Carnaby Street.

381
Aren't we about 40 years

382
too late for Carnaby Street?

383
No, luv.

384
That's where all the swingin' birds are.

385
Oh. Well, then we are definitely

386
going to the British Museum.

387
Any cuter, I'm gonna need a barf bag.

388
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

389
I'm security, pal.

390
Just protecting you from yourself.

391
Garfield, you have caused enough trouble today.

392
Now you have food, water and company.

393
Which one is he?

394
- Be good. - Jon, you're delirious.

395
Be careful! She's a man-eater!

396
Oh, no. He's under her spell.

397
Okay, Odie, I'll give you one small clue.

398
It's not in there!

399
Prince!

400
Where is that cat?

401
Prince!

402
Prince!

403
Prince!

404
Prince!

405
Prince!

406
Pull!

407
Sir, have you, by any chance, seen Prince?

408
I can't seem to find him anywhere.

409
Oh... dear!

410
You mean our little orange bundle of fun is missing?

411
Pull!

412
Crikey!

413
The man's got a cannon!

414
And he's pointing it at us!

415
We're sitting ducks!

416
Careful, sir.

417
You wouldn't want to injure

418
the creatures, would you?

419
run away!

420
Of course not.

421
That would make me some kind of monster,

422
wouldn't it?

423
By the way, Smithee,

424
I've a little errand for you.

425
Could you go to London

426
and pick up my new suits at Willoughby's?

427
Oh, very good, sir.

428
Pull!

429
Can you imagine

430
taking a nap on that table?

431
Just lie there for hours and shed.

432
In other news today, the queen's corgis, Milly and Tillie,

433
returned from their world cruise with the queen,

434
aboard Her Majesty's yacht.

435
The animals are said to have suffered

436
a mild seasickness, but now are back to eating

437
the finest calf s liver.

438
Oh, boy.

439
Must be sweet.

440
"My tummy's upset. May I have some liver?"

441
Boy, I wish Jon was a queen.

442
Housekeeping.

443
Okay, blockhead, time to bust out of here

444
and catch up with Jon.

445
First, let's grab some chow,

446
before I eat your liver

447
with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

448
Sorry, we left a bit of a mess

449
in the bathroom. Thanks.

450
All right, keep your eyes peeled

451
for a goofy-looking guy with a map.

452
They're not up here.

453
I'm coming down!

454
GArFI ELD: Hup, hup, hup, hup!

455
Hee-yah!

456
Jon? Jon? Jon?

457
Where's Waldo?

458
Take the picture. Take the picture.

459
Take it! Take it! Take the picture!

460
GUArD: Halt!

461
right face!

462
GArFI ELD: Excuse me.

463
Did you see a couple of people

464
who look like they might be tourists?

465
Oh, I know this drill.

466
They won't crack up, no matter what you do.

467
Hey, Freeze-Frame, our knee's on fire.

468
Hmm. I know I can get this guy.

469
No, seriously, our zipper's down.

470
Hey, Dry Goods.

471
Yeah.

472
Anybody ever tell you ou look like Tina Turner?

473
That was effective.

474
Her Majesty, the Queen of England!

475
GArFI ELD: What's all the hubbub?

476
GUArD: Attention!

477
Hey, Odie, look, it's those royal corgis.

478
Hey, lady, ou got any leftover liver?

479
Stuck-up little punk.

480
Oh, I know she heard us.

481
They had the top down.

482
Odie? Odie?

483
D'uh-oh! Odie, no!

484
Don't do the ugly-American thing!

485
The British are coming! The British are coming!

486
Well, you made him crack anyway.

487
PrI NCE: Ew, disgusting!

488
It's so smelly down here. I must get out.

489
Hello? Someone help a chap?

490
I'm in the sewer.

491
This is hopeless.

492
We'll never find Jon.

493
Face it, Odie: nobody cares

494
whether we live or...

495
Prince, I've found you.

496
Oh, dear.

497
Why is it the weird ones always go for the cat

498
and not the dog?

499
Odie, help, please.

500
GArFI ELD: Is that a cologne

501
or a disinfectant, sir?

502
I just got you

503
a special treat: minced pie.

504
Odie, call a cop.

505
I mean, bobby or jimmy.

506
Never mind, Odie. Don't bother.

507
There's a pie here.

508
I'll be just fine.

509
Dear heavens!

510
That was absolutely the most horrifying...

511
But I'm alive. I'm alive!

512
And... covered in filth.

513
Here, here.

514
I must return to my throne.

515
What, ho?

516
Oh, indeed.

517
Seeing me in this state must be shocking.

518
I've lost my bearings.

519
You must lead me with all due haste to the castle at Carlyle.

520
But first, I require a bath.

521
Here, come on.

522
Do you expect me to lick myself?

523
Garfield?!

524
Odie? Wh... What are you doing here?

525
Garfield? What the devil is a Garfield?

526
What am I going to do with you guys?

527
Do you know how bad I would feel

528
if I lost you here?

529
From now on,

530
I'm not letting you out of my sight, okay?

531
Oh, dear heaven.

532
Why is it the weird ones

533
always go for the cat and not the dog?

534
Oh! Bath time for you, buddy.

535
Well, that's the best news I've heard all day.

536
The dog's not very bright, is he?

537
Where are you taking me?

538
Is it somewhere lovely?

539
Somewhere special?

540
Mmm!

541
Ah!

542
Hey, Mario Andretti.

543
You're drivin' on the wrong side of the road,

544
and I've got an entire pie in my stomach.

545
Don't worry, Prince.

546
You'll feel better when we get back to Carlyle.

547
Oh, excuse me.

548
Yes, hello. Hobbs here.

549
Ah, Hobbs, this is Manfred Dargis here.

550
A terrible thing has happened.

551
Prince is missing.

552
We've searched everywhere.

553
Prince is missing?

554
Missing?! - This is a rather sudden

555
development,

556
- don't you think? - Well, actually, it's quite common.

557
In the absence, or in this case, the death of an owner,

558
it can be quite

559
confusing and disorienting to a cat_ I mean,

560
let's face it, they have brains the size of a gum ball.

561
All the same,

562
this seems rather fishy to me.

563
I don't particularly care what it seems to you.

564
Legally, since he is gone,

565
the title of the Carlyle estate falls to me.

566
Am I not correct?

567
Uh, yes, very well.

568
Good-bye.

569
He's up to something.

570
He's got some plan for the estate,

571
and I want to find out what.

572
Ah, Miss Abby Westminster, I presume.

573
Lord Dargis, an absolute pleasure.

574
Hello.

575
DArGIS: I'm so pleased you've shown

576
such an interest in our little enterprise.

577
Well, my investors are very interested.

578
Cheers, dear.

579
To a long-lasting business relationship.

580
To Carlyle resort and Spa.

581
Allow me to introduce ou to my dream.

582
What's this?

583
State-of-the-art spa,

584
meditation garden and, of course,

585
luxury condominium.

586
But what of the woodland and barnyard areas?

587
Allow me.

588
If you would...

589
Oh. Very clever.

590
No woodland,

591
no barnyard area.

592
Whoosh_ gone!

593
So what will you do with all the animals?

594
Let's just say

595
those we don't chase off, we will serve up

596
to the guests.

597
I must alert the others at once.

598
GArFI ELD: Bus driver, pull it over.

599
I got a pie belch coming that might break your windows.

600
Ah.

601
Come on, Prince.

602
Yeah, yeah, I used to be known as Prince.

603
Now you can just call me Ga...

604
...arfield.

605
Wow.

606
Get a load of this dump.

607
Thanks.

608
No pet door, huh?

609
Holy cow, I can hear my footsteps.

610
Mom?! Dad?!

611
I'm home!

612
Your Highness.

613
You talking to me, froggy?

614
It's me, our trusty servant,

615
- Winston. - Hey.

616
Warning: I don't fight fair.

617
I scratch, and I bite.

618
It's all right, sire.

619
All is well now.

620
You're home.

621
Home?

622
What, retirement home? Happy home?

623
Where, uh, what is this?

624
Is this an insane asylum?

625
Am I being kidnapped?

626
Very funny, sire.

627
Your loyal subjects await you.

628
They need to be comforted by your words.

629
Hey, trust me,

630
windbag, there's no way

631
I'm going to give a speech to a bunch of strangers.

632
And then, of course, following your words,

633
a royal feast.

634
I think I'm just going to do a tight two minutes.

635
See if that will calm them down, okay?

636
Oyez!

637
Oyez!

638
Prince the 12th has returned.

639
Thank you, windbag,

640
for that slobbering introduction.

641
Hello, everybody!

642
GArFI ELD: Hey.

643
- Listen up. - Ooh.

644
Is this an audience or a landscape?

645
Okay. Great to be back here

646
at the palace.

647
I look out and I see

648
a sea of dumb barnyard animals.

649
I'm here in your country to break up a romance

650
between, uh, you know, the guy who owns the house

651
I live in and a girl who is way out of his league.

652
I know that whatever it is

653
that you have, there is some sort of affliction

654
that produces this glazed look behind your eyes,

655
I hope you defeat it.

656
I wish I could take every one of you home with me.

657
Thank you.

658
I killed.

659
Very funny, sire. Well done.

660
I didn't realize it was amateur hour.

661
What's up with Prince?

662
Oh, he's on the catnip again.

663
Hold on, chaps! Have I got news for you!

664
What's the word, Claudius?

665
Dargis is going to bulldoze the barnyard

666
and feed us to the tourists.

667
Let him try. He'll have to deal

668
with these fists of fury, won't he, eh?

669
Well, that's dreadful.

670
Calm yourselves, everybody.

671
We're all right as long as Prince is alive.

672
Well, obviously that feline is not Prince, you idiots.

673
He's not even the cat formerly known as Prince.

674
He's right, you know.

675
Wait, he doesn't have to be Prince.

676
He just has to look like him.

677
If he fooled me, he'll fool them.

678
But what's to stop Dargis from getting rid of this cat, too?

679
McBunny is right.

680
We must protect this cat at all costs.

681
Our fates rely on it.

682
Mr. and Mrs. Jon Arbuckle.

683
Liz Arbuckle.

684
Elizabeth Arbuckle. Yeah.

685
Listen, you dolt. There's been a coup d'etat.

686
Attempted murder most foul.

687
I am Prince the 12th of Carlyle.

688
You there, with the wise and thoughtful look.

689
Hello.

690
Convince this man there's been a mix-up.

691
Garfield, I want you to be in my wedding party.

692
Wedding party?!

693
Think you can hold a basket of flowers in your mouth?

694
Enough with the grooming, you dunce.

695
My subjects face mortal jeopardy.

696
Dog, approach.

697
We must plan my escape,

698
and I'm relying on your expedience and cunning.

699
PrI NCE: Okeydokey.

700
New plan.

701
GArFI ELD: Call my pumpkin, windbag.

702
I'm ready to roll.

703
roll? Where to?

704
You know, to the hotel, toJon.

705
Your master, the one who's leaving you for his new wife?

706
He's not leaving me.

707
It's more of a... temporary insanity thing.

708
Garfield, your master's started a new life.

709
It's time for you to begin yours.

710
Come on, I want to show ou something.

711
Do have any idea what runs through your veins?

712
Yesterday's dinner, I guess.

713
royal blood, sire.

714
You are the long-lost heir to the Carlyle throne.

715
You kill me.

716
These are your ancestors, dating back 400 years.

717
GArFI ELD: Mine?

718
Wow.

719
Like, I'm a royal cat?

720
Well, of course.

721
And anything you need is only a flick of your tail away.

722
A flick of my tail, huh?

723
So, if I said, drool on your foot...?

724
GArFI ELD: Not bad.

725
How about roll over and whistle "Dixie"?

726
How's that?

727
Nice. All right.

728
Tough one:jump up and touch the ceiling.

729
How's that, sire?

730
You don't get up there too high

731
there, do you, fella?

732
I give you your royal bedchamber.

733
GArFI ELD: I could do some snoozing here, yeah.

734
Even a king needs a catnap.

735
Get up!

736
Get down.

737
Get up! This baby is spring-loaded.

738
Why do you think they call me...

739
Highness...?

740
Are you all right? Sire?!

741
The royal trapeze?

742
That is how you ring, sire.

743
You pull it whenever you require something.

744
- And what is that? - Your playhouse.

745
Oh, I needed a playhouse.

746
I've got a house inside of a house.

747
Does this castle make my butt look a little too big?

748
Fits you like a glove.

749
- Ooh! Blimey. - Pardon.

750
Well struck, sire. Good tone, smooth finish.

751
Well, you took that in the best spirit, didn't you?

752
Shall we have a look in the kitchen?

753
Did I hear you say... the kitchen?

754
Here we are. I present your cookery.

755
All mine?

756
Every morsel,

757
down to the last crumb.

758
Okay. All right.

759
You can just call me... Your Highness.

760
Yeah, you can just drop that anywhere.

761
GArFI ELD: All right, I'll give it to you straight:

762
it's disappointing.

763
Your doughnuts are dry

764
and don't have holes in them,

765
and your coffee's so weak, it looks like tea.

766
I don't suppose, Miss Westminster,

767
ou could find time in your busy life

768
for a wealthy duke.

769
Lord Dargis, I'm afraid I'm taken.

770
As I am myself... by you.

771
Oh, don't mind me.

772
I'm just an incorrigible old...

773
- Cat! - What?

774
Nothing, nothing.

775
Nothing at all, nothing at all.

776
Gosh, is that the time already?

777
Time, I've always said,

778
flies like an arrow.

779
Don't be afraid to just show up

780
and bring some of those investors_

781
those lovely investors.

782
We'll throw a party.

783
Cheerio!

784
Ah... Smithee, d-did I see Prince in here?

785
Isn't it remarkable?

786
I found him wandering the streets of London

787
as I left Willoughby's.

788
Indeed.

789
Extraordinary.

790
And where is

791
the little fiend...

792
fellow at the moment?

793
Oh, I'm sure I don't know, sir.

794
Well, I'll maybe take a little look-see, hmm?

795
Make him welcome.

796
Yes, sir.

797
Look at this room, for example.

798
Uh... how would you liven this place up?

799
But, sire, this castle

800
is centuries old.

801
GArFI ELD: It's a museum.

802
It's boring.

803
And you know what's missing when your crib is a museum?

804
It's called fun!

805
Fun?

806
It's not that hard.

807
You got to get a running start

808
at something this dull.

809
Who-o-o-o-o-o-a!

810
This is gonna end so badly.

811
Oops.

812
It was already cracked.

813
Nothing escapes you,

814
does it, sire?

815
Yeah. I like the way this feels.

816
You just slide, baby!

817
Whoa...!

818
D'uh-oh!

819
Don't worry about it.

820
That one was cracked as well.

821
Oh, I can relax.

822
Oops!

823
What the...? Ooh! Oo.

824
Smithee!

825
Get this thing off of me!

826
All right, let's go try another room.

827
Good idea, sire.

828
Mr. HOBBS Yes, yes.

829
I've got the deed and the paperwork in order,

830
and I've contacted the other solicitors.

831
We'll be out there on Monday.

832
Monday?

833
But... but I need more time.

834
More time?

835
More time for what?

836
Oh... n-n-nothing. Nothing.

837
That'll-that'll be fine.

838
Oh, very well, we'll be there Monday,

839
unless, by some miracle, Prince returns.

840
We can only hope, Mr. Hobbs.

841
What's the news?

842
Dargis is sure to make a move on the cat.

843
The solicitors will be here Monday.

844
right. Good work.

845
GArFI ELD: Careful.

846
That's high-grade American cardboard

847
ou're tossing around there.

848
Beautiful, fellas.

849
Hang the plasma

850
right over the Slip 'N Slide.

851
Sire, a word.

852
Jowls, my man.

853
Guess what your enlightened,

854
all-powerful ruler

855
has brought to the castle?

856
Oh, I can't wait to hear this.

857
Don't tell me.

858
A renaissance painting.

859
Foosball, you know? Foosball!

860
F- F-F-Foosball?

861
What does he think this is, a pub?

862
Just because we don't have opposable thumbs

863
doesn't mean we don't play bar games.

864
Yes, sire, but I feel our life is in danger.

865
Listen, Winnebago_ if I may call you that_

866
when history speaks of me,

867
and she will, I want to be remembered

868
as the "Party Prince. "

869
As you wish.

870
You chaps know me_ I'm no snob.

871
right? But this cat is too much.

872
He's an embarrassment to our whole way of life.

873
Oh, he's a disgrace to the furry race.

874
"My pillow isn't soft enough.

875
My TV remote won't work. "

876
Don't get your knickers in a twist.

877
I know he's a pain in the neck,

878
but we just got to keep him safe till Monday.

879
GArFI ELD: Yeah. My loyal

880
and fragrant subjects, please.

881
Thank you.

882
Briefly, I hate Mondays.

883
Just hate 'em.

884
Therefore, I decree, from this day forward,

885
there will be no more Mondays.

886
- What? - What?

887
Got it? Today is Tuesday, then.

888
Happy Tuesday, everybody.

889
Yeah, I think he's lost it.

890
Like I said,

891
we just got to keep him safe till Tuesday.

892
Hello, rommel.

893
Ah-ha-ha!

894
I have a present for you.

895
Prince's favorite pillow.

896
Sniffy, sniffy, rommel. Sniffy, sniffy.

897
Ooh, bad pillow. Ooh!

898
Kill kitty. Kill kitty.

899
Oh, what a clever boy.

900
Eat the cat.

901
Yum, yum, yum.

902
I think you're ready.

903
Uh-oh, here comes trouble.

904
Eat the pussycat. There's a good chap.

905
Operation Feline Protection under way.

906
I'm on it. Hoo-hoo!

907
Yeah, yeah.

908
Oops.

909
Bon appetit.

910
Here, kitty, kitty.

911
Come to rommel.

912
Where are you, my little furry friend?

913
Hello, rommel.

914
Eat kitty.

915
No, no kitty, rommel.

916
But we have something better to chew on.

917
No kitty?

918
That's right: no kitty.

919
Bring Lord Dargis's new trousers, please.

920
Pig, the trousers!

921
Uh, trousers.

922
Thank you, Sam.

923
And now, rommel, how about

924
a nice tug of war?

925
Yeah.

926
Ooh! Lord Dargis better watch out

927
next time rommel's on the loose.

928
Hello, Smithee.

929
You're in good spirits today, sir.

930
Yes. For some reason I feel a great burden has been lifted.

931
A burden, sir?

932
What do you make of my new suit, Smithee?

933
Hmm?

934
Oh, very smart, sir.

935
Oh, Smithee, I've invited Miss Westminster for tea on Monday,

936
and it's extremely important she feel welcome.

937
Why don't you bring up a bottle of the very best champagne?

938
And set out the Prince royal china,

939
silver service.

940
You know the type of thing.

941
Very good, sir.

942
rOMMEL: Uh, trousers.

943
DArGIS: Yes, I'd like to speak

944
to Miss Westminster, please.

945
Hello, rommel.

946
Did we enjoy

947
our little snack, then, hmm?

948
Trousers.

949
Ah, Miss Westminster...

950
Trousers!

951
Care to pop over and have a little...

952
rUGBY FAN 1: Oggy! Oggy! Oggy!

953
rUGBY FANS: Oi! Oi! Oi!

954
Oggy! Oggy! Oggy!

955
Oi! Oi! Oi!

956
Isn't this fantastic? Yeah.

957
Who ordered the pasta?

958
- Oh, it's for the kitty. - Oh, good Lord.

959
What gruel is this?

960
Quite right, old boy.

961
They must have given me yours.

962
Garfield, since when do you say no to lasagna?

963
You do realize I'm a cat, don't you, sir?

964
You know, he doesn't seem like himself.

965
He's probably just a little jet-lagged.

966
I suppose I should probably force down a bite or two

967
to keep up my strength.

968
Oh. It does have a unique texture.

969
So, Liz, I don't know if you've noticed,

970
but I've been kind of anxious to, um...

971
Why am I clapping?

972
I'm sorry. What were you saying?

973
PrI NCE: Oh, spot on.

974
Never have I tasted its equal!

975
Oh!

976
Oh, Garfield, that's gross!

977
Please, sir, may I have some more?

978
Oh! Does a Great Dane live here?

979
It's a Carlyle log, my lord:

980
a savory of liver and spleen

981
served in a sleeve of sheep's intestines.

982
And you're supposed to eat it?

983
What is this, "Fear Factor"?

984
Intestines? Spleen?

985
I'm the king, right?

986
Prince, actually.

987
Same difference. I rule, yes?

988
Yes, Your Highness.

989
Great. Then feed this to the humans

990
and just bring me a piping hot dish of lasagna, okay?

991
I'll see to it

992
at once, sire.

993
Now it says we add the ricotta cheese.

994
Ducks!

995
You're supposed to sift

996
the flour, not sit in it!

997
Don't yell at us.

998
We're not the ones who drank all the cooking sherry.

999
Hmm. Carrots make everything better,

1000
and it can't hurt lasagna.

1001
What the heck is...?

1002
That was close.

1003
Now slip in the eggs,

1004
ooze in the tomatoes.

1005
Now stir the whole thing up

1006
in a bowl and let the bowl...

1007
Okay.

1008
You know what I'm talking about.

1009
Hold it

1010
right here,

1011
all you animals.

1012
What goes on here, Winston?

1013
We're preparing

1014
the royal lasagna, sire.

1015
Unless you prefer another dish.

1016
Did you say "dish"?

1017
Lasagna's not a dish, windbag.

1018
It's a way of life, a state of being.

1019
Man's one perfect achievement.

1020
What did the Indians serve to the Pilgrims?

1021
Lasagna.

1022
What did Marie Antoinette scream to the rabble?

1023
"Let them eat lasagna. "

1024
What did Neil Armstrong say

1025
when he landed on the moon?

1026
"That's one small slice of lasagna. "

1027
It's not a dish.

1028
It's the stuff of dreams.

1029
It's the food of the gods.

1030
It's what's for lunch.

1031
Yeah, well, the problem is, it seems we've mucked it up.

1032
You just need a little guidance, that's all.

1033
Where's the flour? Who's got it?

1034
GArFI ELD: I need a mixing bowl.

1035
One large mixing bowl.

1036
GArFI ELD: And someone to mix it.

1037
Thank you.

1038
Much obliged.

1039
Sheba, did you remember to wash your hooves?

1040
Ladies... thank ou so much.

1041
Strike. Strike. Strike.

1042
A little outside.

1043
Step on it, will you?

1044
I need that dough.

1045
Yeah, we'll need about a half a pound of this.

1046
What are barnyard animals

1047
doing in the kitchen?

1048
I demand you all leave at once.

1049
This is completely against my castle health code.

1050
Getting hot in here.

1051
Turn on the exhaust fan, will you, somebody?

1052
PrESTON: What are you doing?

1053
Get away from there!

1054
GArFI ELD: Sorry!

1055
Proof more accidents happen in the kitchen

1056
than any other room in the house.

1057
Hey, where did that big ball of dough go?

1058
All I see are magnificent ribbons of perfection.

1059
Yo, it's lasagna, not shish kebab.

1060
Taste that.

1061
Is that too sweet for you?

1062
One time.

1063
Whoa!

1064
Here comes the parsley.

1065
All right, bring it back.

1066
Bring it in. Bring it in. Bring it in.

1067
Bring it back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back. Good.

1068
We need somebody with a hard head.

1069
Thank you.

1070
It's out of our hands now.

1071
This lasagna's fabulous!

1072
Oh!

1073
That's a bit of all right, that is.

1074
Those Italians got it right, didn't they?

1075
Mmm! Oh!

1076
Two cheeses.

1077
That is delicious!

1078
Yeah, not bad on short notice.

1079
It's beautiful!

1080
What'd I tell you?

1081
If you'd just let me be your king and lead you, all right?

1082
Any more?

1083
CHrISTOPHE: Oh, one more piece.

1084
Oh! - Would anyone mind if I...?

1085
It's mine! I would!

1086
Move! Easy, easy!

1087
- Hold up a moment! I said it's mine!

1088
That piece has Nigel's name on it.

1089
Uh-oh.

1090
Please, I command you.

1091
Leave room for dessert.

1092
DArTS ANNOUNCEr Here it is, one step...

1093
A half-inch adjustment from his last shot!

1094
Oh, nearly!

1095
Oh, heavens, I fear there was something urgent

1096
to which I was supposed to attend,

1097
and yet I can't for the life of me begin to recall what it was.

1098
You really like it?

1099
I do. It's great.

1100
Thank you.

1101
Let me see.

1102
I got to go.

1103
Are you sure I can't go with you

1104
to this castle tour thing?

1105
They won't mind.

1106
It's a Conservancy function for speakers only.

1107
I guess the woman who owned the place

1108
was a big animal lover.

1109
You hang with the guys.

1110
Odie could use a walk, and Garfield could use...

1111
...some serious ab work.

1112
Anyway, I'll be back soon.

1113
Have fun, boys.

1114
My entire world seems to revolve

1115
around napping, television and lasagna.

1116
Still, I'm plagued by a vague notion of a duty unfulfilled.

1117
Oh, well.

1118
Back to sleep.

1119
What is it, woof-woof?

1120
"Castles of England"?

1121
Good Lord!

1122
There it is!

1123
Carlyle Castle on the Upper Thames.

1124
Oh, brilliant, Odie.

1125
All this time, I took you for... well, a complete simpleton.

1126
Now destiny calls.

1127
To the battlements!

1128
Sound the horns!

1129
For king and country!

1130
Farewell, my loyal squire.

1131
The legend cont...

1132
What, ho!

1133
Garfield?

1134
Okay, sore bottom, a little disoriented, but undeterred.

1135
Garfield!

1136
Now, which way is the river?

1137
I think this way.

1138
Garfield!

1139
Sorry,Jon.

1140
Oh, here it is.

1141
Now one needs some kind of conveyance.

1142
Oh, hello.

1143
Oh, it's an awfully long way down, but I must,

1144
and I shall, and I...

1145
Ow.

1146
Well, Miss Westminster,

1147
I have the papers all drawn up.

1148
We need only sign them,

1149
and it's on to the ground breaking.

1150
Oh, that's wonderful.

1151
I would like to move forward as soon as possible.

1152
Just think.

1153
Bulldozers, paving machines

1154
busily transforming this dump into beautiful luxury condos.

1155
You and I striding through centuries of dust

1156
like giants surveying our emerging empire.

1157
Two proud parents.

1158
I- I'll just check on Smithee.

1159
See if tea is ready.

1160
Filthy monsters!

1161
Come back here, ou smelly creature!

1162
Come here!

1163
Pigs, mark your man!

1164
Come here, ou smelly individual!

1165
You know what?

1166
I got two words for that guy.

1167
"You're fired. "

1168
If only it were that simple, sire.

1169
Swine!

1170
Is there a problem, sir?

1171
Is there a problem?

1172
There's a bull drinking my champagne,

1173
the pool's full of wild animals,

1174
and a pig just tried to kill me.

1175
Yes! I would say there was a problem.

1176
I'll tend to it, sir.

1177
You'll tend to it immediately!

1178
And we'll have tea indoors.

1179
Do you think you could handle that?

1180
Thank you. There's a good chap.

1181
Oh!

1182
Has there been an accident?

1183
I'm afraid tea will have to wait till later, Miss Westminster.

1184
Oh.

1185
He's about 42 and a half pounds.

1186
He has orange fur,

1187
more like a burnt sienna.

1188
And he answers to the name Garfield.

1189
I- E-L-D.

1190
Okay,

1191
well, fortunately, Scotland Yard isn't very busy this week.

1192
So, uh, we'll put together

1193
a task force and our best men

1194
and, uh, turn all

1195
our resources and attention

1196
towards finding your fat cat.

1197
really?

1198
No.

1199
Come on, Odie.

1200
Now, rommel, it's really quite simple.

1201
Uh...?

1202
Me... Prince.

1203
Prince... me.

1204
Provider of food...

1205
Food.

1206
right, governor.

1207
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm!

1208
Yum, yum.

1209
Kill...

1210
Kitty!

1211
Attaboy, rommel! There you go!

1212
Well done! That's the spirit!

1213
Bad boy! Bad boy! Go on, get along!

1214
Smithee.

1215
How are you?

1216
Do me a favor. Have that polished.

1217
There's a good chap.

1218
So, what's on our mind, Smithee?

1219
Uh... Mr. Hobbs's office called.

1220
Are the solicitors convening again, sir?

1221
It's nothing at all, Smithee.

1222
Papers to sign. You know_ boring.

1223
Incidentally, when did you

1224
last have a holiday, Smithee?

1225
Holiday, sir?

1226
I can't remember.

1227
- Seriously, man? - Mm.

1228
What an embarrassing oversight on my part.

1229
I insist you have a week's holiday, starting today.

1230
Oh, I don't know. I don't think...

1231
Oh, Smithee, I won't hear a word of it.

1232
I can just see you cycling in the Dordogne,

1233
fighting the wild boar in Tristan da Cunha.

1234
Farewell, wind to your sails and bon voyage, Smithee.

1235
Well, then...

1236
thank you... sir.

1237
What am I going to do?

1238
How am I supposed to find Garfield?

1239
London's really... big.

1240
I don't care about some alien love baby, okay?

1241
I'm worried about Garfield.

1242
Odie, you know what? You're being a real...

1243
"Lady Eleanor of Carlyle has left her entire estate

1244
to her beloved cat, Prince the 12th. "

1245
Maybe someone mistook this cat for Garfield.

1246
Odie, come on. Come on, buddy!

1247
The Venetian crystal chandeliers in this room were commissioned

1248
by the Third Earl of Carlyle in the late 18th century.

1249
Over here, we have several family portraits painted

1250
by the Dutch master Van Dyck.

1251
These are amongst the many treasures

1252
to be found at Carlyle.

1253
- PrESTON: Oh, hogwash! - Huh?

1254
I tell you, this cat is mocking us at every turn.

1255
Preston, calm yourself.

1256
We're only doing what is best for everybody.

1257
PrESTON: How much longer must we sustain this charade?

1258
I can't believe this cat is so stupid as to think

1259
he's actually royalty.

1260
Well, he does, and house cat or not, we need him.

1261
Wha...? House cat?

1262
Just have a little patience.

1263
Patience? Ha! Admit it, Winston.

1264
This buffoon couldn't groom the paws of a real king.

1265
Buffoon?!

1266
Golly, this is without a doubt my all-time crummiest moment.

1267
Huh?

1268
Jon.

1269
Man, I've been such a stupid, selfish cat.

1270
I've lost my friend.

1271
I've got to find him.

1272
The original medieval kitchen has stood

1273
on this site since 1485...

1274
Yes, yes, it's big. It's old and it's musty.

1275
Uh, Lord Dargis, uh, please meet the tour group

1276
from the royal Animal Conservancy.

1277
Oh! By all means, save the little darlings.

1278
That's my motto.

1279
Big fan of Free Willy, Born Free,

1280
all the Free movies.

1281
Bravo! Now off you go.

1282
If you come this way,

1283
we'll visit some of the underground passages,

1284
one of which...

1285
Hello. Welcome to Carlyle Castle, my dear.

1286
Thank you. It's, it's beautiful.

1287
Well, that makes two of you.

1288
Did I mention how much I abhor fox hunting?

1289
Unless, of course, in self-defense.

1290
- Bye. - If I may...

1291
Uh, one question, uh...?

1292
Liz.

1293
Ah, the same as our own dear queen. Cordial?

1294
- One question, Liz. - Liz?

1295
What would you say if I were to donate

1296
one of my priceless oil paintings

1297
to your conservancy?

1298
Um... Thank you?

1299
Mm! But how would you say it?

1300
That royal sleaze is hitting on Liz.

1301
Perhaps you would consider dining with me

1302
at the castle tonight?

1303
Nobody hits on my best friend's girlfriend... and succeeds.

1304
Yoo-hoo! Mr. Pinata-Head.

1305
You!

1306
Me?

1307
Excuse me for one moment.

1308
- Sure, but... - Mi castle es su castle.

1309
- DArGIS: Aha! - GArFI ELD: Not now!

1310
Your nine lives are up!

1311
GArFI ELD: No. No, not now.

1312
Good Lord, do these people never sleep?

1313
GArFI ELD: Oh, why now?

1314
Ah, Mr. Hobbs, punctual as usual.

1315
Just taking out the rubbish. Won't be a jiffy.

1316
GArFI ELD Oh, please!

1317
Okay, you got me.

1318
GArFI ELD: Oh, you are so stupid.

1319
Dungeon.

1320
GArFI ELD: I'm just a cat!

1321
GArFI ELD Oh... Please! I'm so weak...

1322
and, and you're so strong, so powerful.

1323
GArFI ELD: You creep!

1324
There's more than one way to skin a royal cat.

1325
I'm not a royal cat!

1326
I'm a self-centered house cat!

1327
Hey! Wait! Wait!

1328
What, you think I'm going to crack in here?

1329
Uh-uh. No. This is gonna be a treat.

1330
I'm finally gonna have some quality alone time.

1331
I'm gonna write that novel I've been putting off.

1332
I'm gonna learn a couple of foreign languages,

1333
and I'm gonna start a whole new workout regimen.

1334
I'm gonna lose all this.

1335
Get myself in top physical condition.

1336
Thank you! Yeah!

1337
Ha, ha!

1338
I love it here!

1339
You've done me an enormous favor!

1340
Who's laughing now?

1341
It's nice to get away from the urban sprawl.

1342
"Carlyle, 28 miles. "

1343
Going my way?

1344
Piece of cake, really.

1345
So we make a left up ahead.

1346
Oh. right turn.

1347
Thanks, buddy.

1348
I'm afraid there's just no sign of him.

1349
really? Well, then...

1350
let's make it official.

1351
Well, if we must, we must.

1352
Then there's the time I got hit by that car...

1353
and the time that I ate that six-day-old halibut.

1354
Hey, that's only seven lives.

1355
I got two more.

1356
All right, I'm gonna get out of this.

1357
Bingo!

1358
Winston and I have come to your rescue.

1359
Took you long enough.

1360
What, did you finally hear my stomach growling?

1361
No, but we heard your tiresome monologue. Bad halibut, indeed.

1362
Let's get you out of here, Your royal Highness.

1363
Winster.

1364
The solicitors are here.

1365
We have to move quickly.

1366
Huh.

1367
Uh, then we luncheon, Your royal Highness.

1368
Yeah, you can drop that shtick, drool boy.

1369
I heard you and the bird.

1370
How about the house cat part? I loved that.

1371
Aw, all right, all right.

1372
So we weren't exactly honest.

1373
We had to do it.

1374
What would ou have done?

1375
Save your breath, chubby cheeks.

1376
I shall abdicate my throne and return to my TV chair.

1377
You were our only hope.

1378
The only hope of the hopeless.

1379
What do they want, blood?

1380
I have been eating and sleeping my heart out for these animals_

1381
still not enough.

1382
Like I'm not as good as a royal cat could be.

1383
Huh?

1384
Hmm...

1385
Hmm?

1386
Hmm...

1387
Hmm?

1388
Blah!

1389
Hmm?

1390
Aha! I so knew you weren't me.

1391
And you must be Garfield.

1392
How do you know my name?

1393
I've lived your life for the past few days.

1394
Yes, if ever a man loved a cat, it's yourJon.

1395
return to him, Garfield.

1396
return to your home.

1397
Your Highness, you don't have to tell me twice. Bye-bye.

1398
Sire, thank heavens.

1399
- You've returned. - The real prince!

1400
The prince is home, back with us!

1401
It's the real prince_ the genuine article.

1402
Yes, my friends,

1403
I have returned to you at this, our darkest hour.

1404
So, Winny, what exactly is Lord Dargis up to?

1405
He intends to level our homes and kill us all.

1406
O... kay.

1407
Well, in that case, I decree that we pack our bags

1408
and get our scraggy bottoms out of here.

1409
Perhaps to the castle next door.

1410
- Oh, boy. - What?!

1411
Well, that was inspirational.

1412
Brilliant.

1413
I am so fired up.

1414
You know, I have to believe we can do better.

1415
I thought you were leaving.

1416
Hey, button the beak, Fruit Loops,

1417
or I'll stick that thing on backwards.

1418
Look, Lord Doofus is just another bully.

1419
And what do we do to bullies?

1420
Well, generally, we run from them.

1421
No, we don't leave.

1422
We stand and we kick royal butt.

1423
Trust me, if you beasts...

1424
can bake a two-cheese lasagna,

1425
ou can beat Dargis.

1426
Well, do you have a plan, Garfield?

1427
Tell you what. For the duration of this battle,

1428
I would prefer to be called G-Cat.

1429
And we have two plans.

1430
Oh, teamwork. Oh, yes, yes.

1431
GArFI ELD: Hey, girly dog!

1432
Yeah, you girly girl!

1433
You're such a silly sissy dog!

1434
GArFI ELD: Go! Go!

1435
PrI NCE: The game is afoot.

1436
Sissy, silly dog.

1437
You don't move so good, bozo!

1438
Uh-oh!

1439
Here, kitty-kitty.

1440
GArFI ELD: Yoo-hoo!

1441
Oh, Mr. Stinky Dog.

1442
Hey, loco.

1443
Oh, no!

1444
run away!

1445
GArFI ELD: Oh, yay-yip-yip-yahoo!

1446
Yahoo! Yow-yow-ya-ya-yip-yip-yip-yahoo!

1447
DArGIS The loss of Prince...

1448
I'm not quite sure that...

1449
any of us will ever get over it.

1450
Prince and Carlyle Court were... were one.

1451
Sometimes, it's, it's almost as if his...

1452
his spirit was still...

1453
His spirit's still what?

1454
...still ro-roaming the grounds.

1455
I wonder if you could excuse me for a little...

1456
Do you hear running water?

1457
I- I won't be long.

1458
He's a bit of a tool, don't you think?

1459
Yes?

1460
Lord Dargis. Am I early?

1461
Only just, Miss Westminster. Only just.

1462
Please, please. Please.

1463
I was just finishing something.

1464
I wonder if you'd like to wait in the library.

1465
Okay.

1466
Make yourself at home.

1467
Have a seat.

1468
Thank you. Um...

1469
PrI NCE: Tally-ho!

1470
Oh! On the other hand, this simply won't do.

1471
- Why? - Smithee's been painting again.

1472
I can't smell anything.

1473
Oh, you never can, my darling.

1474
Next thing you know,

1475
ou're salsa dancing in your knickers.

1476
- What? - I won't be long.

1477
Mr. HOBBS: Ah! Mr. Dargis,

1478
will we be starting sometime today?

1479
Absolutely, Mr. Hobbs.

1480
PrI NCE: Hello again.

1481
- What's the matter? - Matter with what?

1482
- You screamed. - No, I didn't.

1483
Why don't you adjourn to my study?

1484
And now, I'll retrieve the papers.

1485
Where are you, ou rat-headed devil?

1486
Oh, no!

1487
Yoo-hoo, Mr. Fancy-pants.

1488
Wait till I get my hands on you!

1489
Ha-ha! He's brilliant!

1490
GArFI ELD Dargis!

1491
I got two words for youse:

1492
Me. Yow.

1493
Come here, you!

1494
Oh, no, you won't do.

1495
I specifically requested a feline masseuse.

1496
Somebody get this thing off of me!

1497
Hey, bozo!

1498
Yeah, you, buster!

1499
GArFI ELD: Hey!

1500
Stupid, red-haired, flea-bitten...

1501
Whoa-aah!

1502
Lord Da... What is...?

1503
What is that?

1504
- I felt a slight chill. - What?

1505
I thought a simple wrap would be just the ticket.

1506
- There! - There what?

1507
There is absolutely no reason

1508
why you can't have a cool, refreshing drink

1509
to make you feel calmer in this steamy weather.

1510
Wait in the room.

1511
Stupid cat!

1512
Nobody makes an idiot out of me.

1513
Oopsie-daisy.

1514
Medic!

1515
PrI NCE: Well done, old man.

1516
GArFI ELD: Thank you.

1517
Never seen a welcome mat on the way out.

1518
GArFI ELD: Get your cameras ready, ladies.

1519
DArGIS: Come back here, you flea-bitten monster!

1520
GArFI ELD: Oops! Oh, no!

1521
Ooh!

1522
rOMMEL: Trousers!

1523
Trousers!

1524
McBUNNY: Target sighted!

1525
DArGIS Shaken him off.

1526
Pull!

1527
Take that!

1528
And that!

1529
- Down a bit. Down a bit. Up. - Bob's your uncle!

1530
Good Lord, it's a conspiracy!

1531
Oh, dear.

1532
Trousers!

1533
DArGIS Smithee!

1534
Excuse me, sir.

1535
Is that Carlyle Castle?

1536
It is.

1537
Maybe you can help me.

1538
Have you seen a cat that looks like this?

1539
Ah, yeah... that's Prince,

1540
the cat of Carlyle.

1541
It's also Garfield, the cat of the cul-de-sac.

1542
Do you mean to say, ou have a cat

1543
that's Prince's doppelganger?

1544
No, I'm saying they look exactly alike.

1545
And there's a chance they may have gotten mixed up.

1546
I see.

1547
There you are, man.

1548
Good God! What happened to your clothes?

1549
Indeed, it's been that kind of day.

1550
Mr. Dargis, I demand an explanation.

1551
I had no choice.

1552
The cat just won't die.

1553
What did you say?

1554
You will sign the deeds over to me, cat or no cat.

1555
Oh, my!

1556
Mr. Hobbs, you were right.

1557
Lord Dargis was willing to go to any lengths

1558
to get the estate.

1559
I can see you're busy. I'm just gonna...

1560
Uh! Young lady.

1561
Get over there.

1562
Traitoress. You were working with them all along!

1563
Odie! Odie, wait for me!

1564
Odie!

1565
DArGIS: Get on with it!

1566
PrI NCE: Hello, everyone.

1567
Sorry I'm late. Shall I ring for tea?

1568
Well, it's Prince, and he's alive!

1569
GArFI ELD: I am bushed.

1570
All this running-for-my-life stuff.

1571
What say we break for lunch,

1572
take a quick nap and pick it up later?

1573
Sound good?

1574
There are two of you little monsters, hmm?

1575
For those keeping score at home, that's 18 lives.

1576
Mr. HOBBS: This is unbelievable!

1577
Two cats?! - DArGIS: No matter.

1578
I have plenty of ammunition.

1579
Aah!

1580
Something's biting me!

1581
Odie, let him go!

1582
Help! Oh!

1583
Your lunatic dog just bit my bottom!

1584
All right. Well played, you.

1585
GArFI ELD: Hey, look, it's LittleJon.

1586
PrI NCE: Good show, old man.

1587
I'll go quietly.

1588
Jon?

1589
- Liz? - What's going on?

1590
Well, hello, my dear.

1591
Hello.

1592
And not a moment too soon.

1593
GArFI ELD & PrI NCE: Uh-oh!

1594
Is this part of the tour?

1595
- Let her go. - All in good time.

1596
Now if you'll be so kind...

1597
Okay, stay calm. Okay?

1598
Mr. Hobbs, the papers, please.

1599
I've seen enough. You want to call in your weasel?

1600
PrI NCE: Sic him, Nigel.

1601
Oi! I'm a ferret.

1602
And I mean business... trouser-leg business!

1603
Ooh...

1604
I'll take a leg, please.

1605
Ooh, on second thought, I'll have some white meat.

1606
Aah! Good Lord!

1607
There's a wild animal in my trousers!

1608
Hoo-dee-doo-dee-doo.

1609
Uh, who's next then, eh?

1610
Glass jaw.

1611
He can dish it out, but he can't take it.

1612
That was amazing!

1613
Are-Are you okay?

1614
Yeah, I... I never felt better.

1615
PrESTON: Well done, Garfield.

1616
I was rooting for you the whole time.

1617
Did you hear something?

1618
Yes, one did.

1619
I'm here to discuss my new position in your...

1620
There he is, gentlemen.

1621
Come along. There's a good boy.

1622
Oh... It was the animals, ou know.

1623
Plotting, planning, every one of them against me!

1624
I assume that will be all, sir.

1625
Smithee. He'll vouch for me.

1626
Smithee!

1627
PrI NCE: Odie, thank you.

1628
You're a hero and a gentleman.

1629
Whoa. There are two Garfields?

1630
Well, how can you tell them apart?

1631
Oh, you forgot imbecile.

1632
- That's Garfield. - Garfield.

1633
Liz, I've been...

1634
I've been trying to get the courage up

1635
to ask you something all week.

1636
- Uh-huh. - And, uh...

1637
Oh, come on... really?

1638
Looking for something?

1639
Thanks, pal.

1640
Liz, will you marry me?

1641
Yes.

1642
Aw...

1643
You know a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's?

1644
Come on! The coast is clear!

1645
Hooray!

1646
McBUNNY: Let's hear it for the cats!

1647
Hooray!

1648
Go, Garfield.

1649
That's right. Come on!

1650
Do you do the Carlyle jig?

1651
It goes like this.

1652
Can you do this?

1653
Oh, boogaloo.

1654
Jolly good.

1655
Bust a move, man.

1656
No, it's something like this here.

1657
PrI NCE: And so, my loyal subjects,

1658
I leave you with a final legacy.

1659
Cannonball!

1660
Brilliant party, sire.

1661
GArFI ELD: Yeah, when the going gets tough...

1662
the great ones party.

1663
Who wants to play Marco Polo?

1664
Marco!

1665
I refuse to partake in this sinful display of hedonism.

1666
Oh! Those nuts look good.

1667
Get a load of this!

1668
Bombs away...!

1669
I love this pond.

1670
We rule the pool, goosey.

1671
Give me some feathers!

1672
GArFI ELD Watch the ears.

1673
Thank you.

1674
Oh, you're so kind.

1675
Odie, could you beat it, please?

1676
It's good to be king.

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