gossip girls here-your one and only source
into the scandalous lives of manhattan's elite.
I got three cases of champagne for serena van der woodsen.
for me? who's it from?
porn and handcuffs? this is low, chuck, even for you.
what's this? chuck said it came for you this morning. whoa. is that coke?
how do you like a brother who uses you as a drug mule?
I can't believe you think chuck is doing these things. what's he done now?
I'll tell you what he's done. if we're gonna exist under the same roof,
I am laying down some house rules. no need, princess. bart already kicked me out.
I'm moving back to my suite. I love you, nate archibald.
always have, always will.
I want nothing else to do with you, blair. it's over.
jenny, if you walk away from me now, I will ruin you.
how are you gonna do that? my mother's valentino was stolen.
oh, my god. that's my mother's dress. do you think that you can just send me off to school
with a plaid skirt and a metrocard,
and everything will be okay? I'm really sorry, chuck.
I know it wasn't you who sent me that stuff.
and who am i?
that's a secret I'll never tell.
you know you love me.
there are three things we do alone-
we are born, we die,
and if we're a high school junior headed for college,
we take the s.a.t.
and while the test is said to measure our best traits,
preparing for it
inevitably brings out the worst-
humility becomes self-doubt...
guess we're all in trouble, huh?
striving becomes obsession.
it's tuesday on the other side of town
some are driven to self-medication...
most would just give up for dead
so I said, "alfie, don't get so upset"
we all get scared of sticking out our necks
while others cling to the security
of being part of a group.
ba, ba, ba
ba, ba, sha-doo, be-doo
ba, ba, ba
and anyone who's used to bending the rules
will find themselves breaking them.
ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, sha-doo
come on, come on it's time to lose control
come on, come on turn off your radio
come on, come on you're gonna feel all right
come on, come on let's do the panic tonight
ugh! dad, don't ever do that again.
just doing what I was told. time's up.
I was instructed that whenever time was up,
I should share that information. yes, but the manner in which you went about it-it was like
you were deliberately trying to humiliate me. how bad?
uh... half. I finished exactly half in the allotted time.
well, you're a smart kid. I'm a choker. I choke.
mm, just in your head. t - ball. first grade. remember this?
bases loaded, and I struck out. you were 6.
the ball was on a tee, not moving. you'll come through.
you're basing that on what, exactly?
dad, I'm gonna be late. I'm coming with you.
what? you're walking me to school? I need the exercise.
I made one mistake. it doesn't mean I need
a human ankle monitor. you used to beg me to walk you to school.
you'd cry if I didn't walk you to class. that wasn't me. that was dan.
it's true, but I was 6,
and it an emotional time for me. it was post-t-ball. jenny, what you did was wrong
and really out of character.
grounding you is not just about punishment.
we need to spend some time together, reconnect. yeah, I want that, too.
just... not in public and in front of my friends.
all right. tonight. dinner.
okay. and I have group rehearsal.
I'm the alto. and I'm really proud,
but we are connecting this evening over lasagna.
hey, jen, you wanna wait up for a second? we could take the-
well, a-all right, I'll see ya at school.
it's 90th percentile.
which means nelly yuki probably got 2300.
and you don't even talk to her. why do you care how she does?
nelly yuki has her sights set on yale, too.
what are the odds
of them accepting two girls from constance?
and have you seen nelly yuki's extracurriculars?
I need to kick her well-rounded ass.
and they say you've lost your edge. nelly yuki must be destroyed.
why do you keep saying her name? because it's nelly yuki.
ew, gross. incoming-chuck. you ready?
no, I gotta wait for dan. he's pretty stressed.
he doesn't do well with tests, so... performance anxiety?
she really needs to tone down on the social niceties.
it's embarrassing. eventually, the two of you
are gonna have to work out your issues. what issues? I'm issue-free.
and, uh, based on my exhaustive research,
so are you.
according to my very reliable sources,
georgina sparks is nowhere near our fair isle.
she's in switzerland, dating the prince of belfort.
there's a prince of belfort? uh-huh.
and she's dating him? oh, thank god.
now you can enjoy the gifts she mailed you
with peace of mind... and maybe chuck in the room.
oh, shoot. except we're siblings.
georgie always brought out the devil in you.
part of me is a little disappointed she's not here.
mm, I wonder which part. it's been a while since I saw the old serena.
well, thanks to her,
the new one has to break 2000 on her s.a.t.s.
so if you could just go smarm elsewhere...
the offer still stands. I know a, uh, lovely little redhead
that's just dying to be you for the day. oh, I'll leave the cheating to you, chuck.
I plan on taking the s.a.t.s myself.
you have no idea how lucky you are.
I would do anything to be a freshman again. junior year sucks.
nate doesn't call. I'm not ready for the s.a.t.s. maybe I should join kati on the kibbutz in israel,
quit now. you guys, it's just a test.
look, cram session tonight. my dad's making lasagna.
my brother's got tons of flash cards,
and I'm totally available to help.
that won't be necessary, little j.
you girls are all taken care of,
courtesy of blair waldorf s.a.t. prep and spa.
are you serious? if you're gonna sweat the test, it better not clog your pores.
this evening at my penthouse, you'll find personal tutors,
hot stone massages, mani-pedis and an amazing acupuncturist
who specializes in mental acuity.
guess that beats my dad's lasagna. I'll flickr over some photos for you.
oh, it's upperclassmen only. I'm sure you understand.
wait up, b.
I'm so glad I didn't book that flight to tel aviv.
spotted in the halls of constance-little j. realizing
that age really does come before beauty.
yeah. yeah, and, uh, soccer?
why not give the old ball a kick?
season's just around the corner... in october.
no, no, you know what? I have to stop doing that.
I'll just focus on myself and my-my test and my prep.
what other people do or don't do is about them, absolutely.
not a good tester, huh?
oh, chuck, I had no idea you felt that way about me.
good to know you're at least still kind of funny.
hey, I'm so sorry.
I've been completely off the radar the past few days.
new home, new family. it's okay.
yeah, it's, um, pretty overwhelming.
yeah, I-I've been a little overwhelmed myself lately.
well, you wanna hang out... study?
mmm. ooh. I wanna take whatever s.a.t. prep course
you're signed up for.
well, it's not too late.
okay. I'm in, then.
I'll see you.
you always did know how to leave 'em wanting more.
oh, my god, georgina.
what are you doing here? well, I told you I was coming.
didn't you get my gifts? uh, you're supposed to be in switzerland dating a prince.
luckily daddy didn't need the g5.
haven't you missed me?
how could I not?
okay. you don't want to throw me a homecoming party.
I get it, but let's have a cocktail,
s., you're really gonna hurt my feelings,
and you know how I get when my feelings are hurt.
great. I'll see you tonight.
it's so weird seeing you. it's almost like I never left.
spotted in the courtyard-
serena looking like she's seen a ghost-
the ghost of parties past.
jenny, why did you want to meet here? well, I've been thinking-
what's the one thing that no one in our group has,
I mean, not even blair? compassion?
no, a boyfriend. you know, if I'm gonna make it to queen,
I need a king. queen elizabeth never had a boyfriend.
but she only had the spanish to conquer,
and I have blair waldorf. let's talk qualifications.
he has to be cute, but not full of himself.
he has to be from the right kind of family...