I thought you said the
artistlived in hudson.
She lives there.
If the trains ever stop running...
500 chances to get laid.
And remember, don't dip your
shillelagh... in the wrong pot of gold.
let's go. You can think
about your boyfriend inside.
I'm not coming.
seriously, carter baizen sucks.
All right, I don't know what spell he's
put you under, but he's not your friend.
He can't be trusted.
And why is that?
'Cause he doesn't
believe what you believe in?
It's exactly what he said- the
money, the drugs, the privileges.
They're just keeping
us numbso we don't know
it's-it's better out
there in the real world.
The real world? Everyone out
there wants to be us.
We are what you aspire
to, not run away from.
You really don't get me, do you?
That dream of yours, you
know, what is it, really?
'Cause I hear you talk about how
you don't want to go to dartmouth
and how you don't want to
follow in your father's footsteps,
but what exactly do you want?
All I know is it's not this.
Well, you better discover what "it" is
before you throw everything
away trying to find it.
And where are you going?
how was the movie?
I- I don't know about serena, dad.
I- I can't tell if she's worth it.
What do you mean?
Well, uh, she's best friends with
this girl-blair waldorf-
who is basically everything I
hate about the upper east side
distilled into one
95-pound, doe-eyed, bon mot tossing,
label-whoring package of girlie evil.
- no one's that bad.
- She is.
I would barely be exaggerating if I told
you medusa wants her withering glare back.
Well, if there's anything I've
learned it's that usually
there's something beneath the
surface with people like that
to make them act the way they do.
Like what- the O. J. In her mimosa was
from concentrate, not fresh-squeezed?
And-and what does this say about
serena, that this is her best friend?
I dateda girl like serena once-
actually, a lot like serena.
And girls like thatare
challenging. It's true.
They're complicated and...
and usually worth it.
And the only way you'll know for
sure is to jump in with both feet.
What happened with you?
I swam for a while...
till I drowned.
Well, that-thanks. That's
a great story, dad.
Now get some sleep, and I
will see you in the morning.
We'll go to the photo shoot together.
You haven't done this since I was little.
You haven't been in bed by
10:00 since you were little.
You looked beautiful tonight, you know?
How was the movie?
Did I miss something amazing?
well, uh, even without the movie.
Don't be cocky.
I'm calling you with a makeup plan.
- Oh, are you now?
- I am.
How would you like to see what
really happens at a fashion shoot?
I'm sorry. This is-this
is dan humphrey.
Are you sure you're
not trying to reach my sister?
Look, I know it's a girlie offer,
but chew on this- I'll be there.
Can I bet on that?
Because law of averages says
I lose my shirt.
Oh, come on. It's blair's shoot, so
I have to be there for moral support.
Blair? Well, I'm definitely not going now.
Look, she's really not
as bad as you think.
Besides, she's gonna be so busy with the
shoot that you won't evenhave to see her,
and since it's so
boring on the sidelines,
you'll have my full attention.
Okay, what if I buy you
anything you want from craft service?
I thought craft service was free.
I'll see you in the morningat
8:00. I'm texting you the address.
I'm hanging up before
thou dost protest again.
both feet, humphrey.
what's the emergency apart from my not
getting my sleep before the big day,
laurel, and why couldn't we simply
have discussed it over the phone?
Because if we didn't meet in
person, I couldn't show you these.
I don't think this girl
is what you're trying to say-
unapproachable, controlled, perfect.
She is not unapproachable. She is poised.
Look, I know she's your daughter,
and I don't want to make problems...
But your girlis rigid like a twig.
You know, she's afraid to let you in,
so your works of art
and she fail to achieve-
what's the word?
What can be doneat this stage?
Your daughter is beautiful,
yes, but this girl-
this girl has it.
She is warm like sunshine. She has fun.
She will make the clients
think if they buy these clothes,
then they will have fun, too.
But this is your line, eleanor.
It's completely your choice.
The rules for a model the
day of a photo shoot are
similar to those of
a patient presurgery-
rior, wear comfortable clothing
and make sure your affairs are in order.
You never know what
could go wrong in a flash.
hey, B. You must either be
sleeping or already on your way.
But I can't wait to
see you at the shoot.
We're gonna have so much fun!
Oh, thank god you're awake.
Am I late?
Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Did I oversleep?
Darling, I have some bad news.
Terry, that fool of a photographer, thinks
we need to go in a different direction.
With the theme?
With the model.
Darling, I hired these
people for their expertise,
and ultimately, they feel that...
we would be doing the brand a disservice.
I- I cannot apologize enough.
I know that you were
really looking forward to this.
No, I wasn't.
I don't have to go.
I hate shoots.
They're so boring.
You should have a lessandra
ambrosio, not an amateur.
We'll have dinner after, yes?
Steak frites and crepesat caf? des
artistes, just like old times.
I will see you later.
, All right, I hope
you're not already there,
because as it turns out,
my modeling career's over faster
than jessica simpson's acting one.
Now that I think about it,
maybe we should crash the shoot anyway
and see who they replace me with,
make fun of the skinny bitch?
how could you?
Actually, I like this here.
This is no joke, humphrey.
What are you doing with that?
The question is, what are
you doing selling it to me?
you're bex's client.
Oh, and you didn't know.
I'm just surprised you
hired someone with taste.
Oh, well, I am equally as shocked,
because when she said she
found something amazing in brooklyn,
your gallery never entered my mind.
You'o have tactually recognizeart
to remember the place.
What I recognize is the fact that your
wife would not want this hanging in my house.
Alison's a professional artist.
She doesn't do background checks on
prospective buyers, and neither do I.
Besides, it's been almost 20 years.
And you still don't know women.
And you still know it all.
Your wife despises me.
I wouldn't say that.
Well, she did.
I mean, she may have
been wearing a slip dress
and doc martens at the time, but
she definitely meant it.
She's not like you.
She doesn't hold on to that stuff.
Why don't you call and ask her?
Or are you still giving her her space?
Because trust me, putting
this up in my house,
even having this conversation with
you, will only drive her further away.
Well, what do you want me to do then?
Take it back.
You can call bexand set up a refund.
So what'd you think of it?
it was extraordinary.
we got talk. where r u
call you later
hey, no phones.
Oh, right. Sorry, man.
- $5, 000
How much you up?
That's insane, amigo.
I should probably
quit while I'm ahead, huh?
What? We just started.
Well, I've had a good run.
Plus, it's better to
leave while you're up.
I'm not-I'm not
gonna let you do that, bro.
The table's about to get smaller.
People are gonna
start showing their real stuff.
Up until now it's been cards, but...
from now on, it's an adventure.
Just a couple more hands.
All right, gents, ante up.
Let's hit it.
you've got to be kidding me.
Fantastic. One, two,
three, come on-oh!
There she is. Blair! Come on, quick.
What took you so long?
blair Blair, wait, where are you going?
Blair, wait. Why are you so mad?
Why am I mad?
You mean why aren't I furious?
I can't believefor one second I thought
that it'd be different this time!
You thought what would be different?
You couldn't deal with the spotlight
shining on me for once, could you?
What are you talking about?
I was told we were doing this together.
What, did you not get my message?
What about this morning then?
When you glanced at the call
sheet, did you see my name on it?
When I wasn't in hair and
makeup, didn't that seem strange?
When the dressing room only
had your name on the door,
what, did you think they just forgot?
I was told you were running late, and
they asked me to do some test shots first.
Blair, they told me you wanted me here.
And you believed them?
Look, blair, I encouraged you to do this.
Why would I try to steal something
from you that I pushed you to do?
Because you take everything from me!
- Blair! - Nate,
my mom! - Blair!
You can't even help it.
It's who you are.
I just thought maybe this
time it would be different.
I should have known I'd be wrong.
boy's rude awakening.
Upper east side queens
aren't born at the top.
They climb their way up in heels, no
matter who they have to tread on to do it.
terry, I think it's very good.
I like the bridge in the
background, but we need her back.
I know. What-
here you are
terry wanted me to tell you
how perfect you looked...
- eleanor, I quit.
- With these now.
Wait a minute. Why?
I think you know why.
Because of blair?
I know that she will
support my decision...
Once I explain it to her.
You know you love the
spotlight. You always have.
It's part of your charm.
There is nothing
wrong with that-
who are you?
What are you doing here?
I have no idea, actually. I...