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诺丁山Notting Hill 05

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1
Hi.
2
Can I come in?
3
Come in.
4
They were taken years ago.
5
I know it was-
6
But I was poor and- It happens a lot.
7
That's not an excuse. I just-
8
But to make matters worse,
9
it now appears as though...
10
someone was filming me as well.
11
So what was a stupid photo shoot...
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now looks like a porn film.
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The pictures have been sold and they're just...
14
everywhere.
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I didn't know where to go.
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The hotel's surrounded.
17
I know it's been months, but-
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This is the place.
19
Thank you.
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I'm just in London...
21
for two days, but what with your papers,
22
it's the worst place to be.
23
These pictures are just so horrible, and they're so grainy.
24
It makes me look like-
25
Don't think about it.
26
We'll sort it out.
27
What would you like? Tea?
28
Bath?
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A bath would be great.
30
Oh, Christ alive!
31
Brilliant. Fantastic.
32
Magnificent.
33
You must be Spike.
34
- Hi. - Just...
35
checking.
36
Thank you, God.
37
I'm really sorry about last time.
38
- Oh- - He just flew in.
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- I had no idea. - All right.
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In fact, I had no idea if he was ever gonna fly in again.
41
It's not often one has the opportunity to adios...
42
the plates of a major Hollywood film star.
43
It was, um- It was thrilling for me.
44
So how is he?
45
I don't know.
46
It just got to the point...
47
where I couldn't remember any of the reasons why we were together.
48
And you and love?
49
Oh, well, there's a question, um,
50
without an interesting answer.
51
I have thought about you.
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- Oh. - It's just that...
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anytime I've tried to keep...
54
anything normal with a person that was...
55
normal, it's just been a disaster.
56
Listen, I appreciate that. Absolutely.
57
So what is that, a film you're doing?
58
Um, start in L.A. on Tuesday.
59
Would you like me to take you through your lines?
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Would you? 'Cause it's all talk, talk, talk.
61
Hand it over.
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Right. Um, basic plot?
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I'm a difficult but brilliant junior officer...
64
who in about 20 minutes is gonna save the world from nuclear disaster.
65
Mm-hmm. Okay. Well done, you.
66
"Message from Command. Would you like them to send in the H.K.s?"
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No. Turn over four T.R.S.s and tell them we need radar feedback...
68
before the K.F.T.s return at 1900.
69
Then inform the Pentagon we'll need Black Star cover from 1000 through 1215.
70
And if you say one word about how many mistakes I made in that speech, I'll pelt you with olives.
71
- Very well, Captain. I'll pass that on straightaway. - Thank you.
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- How many mistakes did I make? - Eleven.
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- Damn it. And Wainwright- - Cartwright.
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Cartwright, Wainwright, whatever your name is,
75
I promised little Jimmy I'd be home for his birthday,
76
so could you get a message to him that I may be late.
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Certainly. And, uh, little Johnny?
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- My son's name is Johnny? - Yep.
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- Then get a message to him too. - I'll do what I can, Captain,
80
but I can't promise anything.
81
And Cartwright goes.
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- What do you think? - Gripping. It's not Jane Austen.
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It's not Henry James, but it's... gripping.
84
- Think I should do Henry James instead? - You would be brilliant.
85
But this writer- writers- they're pretty damn good too.
86
You never get anyone on Wings of the Dove saying,
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"Inform the Pentagon we need Black Star cover. "
88
For me the book is the poorer for it.
89
I can't believe you have that picture.
90
You like Chagall?
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I do. It feels like how love should be-
92
floating through a dark blue sky.
93
With a goat, playing a violin.
94
Well, yes.
95
Happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat.
96
You have big feet.
97
Yes. Yes, always have had.
98
You know what they say about men with big feet.
99
No. What's that?
100
Uh, big feet,
101
large... shoes.
102
The thing that is so irritating...
103
is that now I'm so fierce when it comes to nudity clauses.
104
You actually have... clauses in your contract about nudity?
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Definitely.
106
"You may show the dent of the top of the artist's buttocks, but neither cheek. "
107
Or if there's a stunt bottom being used...
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"artist must have full consultation. "
109
- You have a stunt bottom? - I could have a stunt bottom, yes.
110
Are people tempted to go for better bottoms than their own?
111
Yeah. I would. This is important stuff.
112
It's one hell of a job, isn't it? What do you put on your passport?
113
"Profession: Mel Gibson's bottom. "
114
Actually, Mel does his own ass work.
115
- Right. - Why wouldn't he?
116
- Absolutely. - It's delicious.
117
What, the ice cream or Mel Gibson's bottom?
118
Both. Equally.
119
But you wouldn't necessarily lick both?
120
Well, this is tart.
121
And fuzz-free.
122
And, uh-
123
Bedroom. There's clean sheets.
124
Today's been a good day,
125
which in the circumstances is...
126
unexpected.
127
Thank you.
128
Anyway, um,
129
time for bed.
130
Or sofa bed.
131
Good night.
132
Oh, my God.
133
Hello?
134
Hello.
135
- Spike. - I wonder if I could have a little word.
136
- Right. - I don't want to interfere or anything,
137
but she's just split up from her boyfriend, right?
138
- Maybe. - And she's in your house.
139
- Yes. - And you get on very well.
140
- Yes. - Well, isn't this, perhaps,
141
a nice opportunity to...
142
slip her one.
143
Spike, for God's sakes. She's in trouble. Get a grip.
144
You think it's the wrong moment. Fair enough.
145
- Do you mind if I have a go? - Spike!
146
- Okay. - I'll talk to you in the morning.
147
Okay. Might be too late, but okay.
148
Please, sod off.
149
- Okay. All right. - No. No, no!
150
Wait! I thought you were, um, someone else.
151
I thought you were Spike. I'm thrilled that you're not.
152
Wow.
153
What?
154
Nothing.
155
It does strike me as,
156
well, surreal that I'm allowed to see you naked.
157
- You and every person in this country. - I'm sorry.
158
What is it about men and nudity, huh?
159
Particularly breasts.
160
- How can you be so interested in them? - Well-
161
But, seriously, they're just breasts.
162
Every second person in the world has them.
163
More than that, when you think about it. Meat Loaf has a very nice pair.
164
But they're odd-looking.
165
They're for milk. Your mother has them.
166
You've seen a thousand of them. What's all the fuss about?
167
Actually, I can't think what it is, really.
168
Let me just have a quick look.
169
Nope, nope. Beats me.
170
Rita Hayworth used to say,
171
"They go to bed with Gilda, they wake up with me. "
172
- Who was Gilda? - Her most famous part.
173
Men went to bed with the dream,
174
and they didn't like it when they woke up with the reality.
175
Do you feel that way?
176
You are lovelier this morning than you have ever been.
177
I'll be right back.
178
Breakfast in bed.
179
- Oh. - Or it's brunch or lunch or something.
180
My God.
181
Can I stay a bit longer?
182
Stay forever.
183
Okay. Oh. Forgot the jam.
184
I'll get the jam, you get the door.
185
Jesus Christ.
186
What?
187
What is it?
188
- Nothing, really. - You're up to something.
189
Anna, no, please!
190
My God. And they got a picture of you dressed like that.
191
Yes.
192
Undressed like this, yeah.
193
- Morning, darling ones. - It's me. The press are here.
194
No, there are hundreds of them.
195
My brilliant plan was not so brilliant. I know.
196
I know. I know. Just get over here.
197
Damn it.
198
- Um, I wouldn't go outside. - Why not?
199
- Just take my word for it. - Oh.
200
How did I look? Not bad.
201
Not at all bad. Well-chosen briefs, I'd say.
202
Chicks love gray.
203
Nice firm buttocks.
204
How are you doing?
205
How do you think I'm doing?
206
- I don't know what happened. - I do.
207
Your furry friend thought he'd make a buck telling the papers where I was.
208
- That's not true. - Really?
209
The entire British press got up this morning and thought, "I know where Anna Scott is.
210
She's in that house with the blue door in Notting Hill. "
211
Then you go out in your goddamn underwear!
212
- I went out in my goddamn underwear too. - Get out!
213
Sorry.
214
- I'm so sorry. - This is such an unbelievable mess.
215
I come to you to protect myself against more crappy gossip,
216
and now I've landed in it all over again.
217
For God's sake, I've got a boyfriend!
218
- You have? - As far as they're concerned I do.
219
And now, tomorrow there'll be pictures of you in every newspaper from here to Timbuktu!
220
I know that, but... just let's stay calm.
221
You stay calm! This is a perfect situation for you, isn't it?
222
Minimum input, maximum publicity.
223
Everywhere you go, people will say, "Well done, you.
224
You slept with that actress. We saw the pictures. "
225
- That is spectacularly unfair. - That's yours.
226
Maybe it'll even help business.
227
Buy a boring book about Egypt from the guy that screwed Anna Scott.
228
Stop! Stop! I beg you!
229
Calm down. How about a cup of tea?
230
I don't want a goddamn cup of tea.
231
I just wanna go home.
232
Spike, see who that is, and put some clothes on, for God's sake.
233
Looks like a chauffeur to me.
234
Spike owes you an expensive dinner or holiday,
235
depending who's got the brains to get the going rate on betrayal.
236
That is not true. Wait a minute.
237
This is crazy behavior.
238
Can't we just laugh about all this?
239
Seriously. In the huge sweep of things, this stuff doesn't matter.
240
What he's gonna say next is there's people starving in the Sudan.
241
Well, there are, and we don't have to go anywhere near that far.
242
My best friend slipped down stairs, cracked her back...
243
and she's in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.
244
All I'm asking for is a normal amount of perspective.
245
You're right. Of course, you're right.
246
It's just that I've dealt with this garbage for ten years.
247
You've had it for ten minutes.
248
Our perspectives are very different.
249
Today's newspapers will be lining tomorrow's wastepaper bin.
250
- Excuse me? - You know.
251
It's just one day.
252
Tomorrow, today's papers will all have been thrown out.
253
You really don't get it.
254
This story will be filed.
255
Every time anyone writes anything about me, they'll dig up these photos.
256
Newspapers last forever.
257
I'll regret this forever.
258
Right.
259
Right.
260
I will feel the opposite,
261
if that's okay by you, and, uh,
262
always be glad that you... came to stay.
263
But, um, you're probably right.
264
You better go.
265
Was it you?
266
I may have told a few people down at the pub.
267
Right.
268
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
269
It's not warm when she's away
270
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
271
And she's always gone too long
272
Any time she goes away
273
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
274
It's not warm when she's away
275
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
276
And she's always gone too long
277
Any time she goes away
278
Wonder this time where she's gone