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CD

1
Every story starts somewhere.

2
And mine begins in a small town called Silver Springs, Nevada.

3
My mother was an ex- show girl.

4
Emphasis on the "ex. "

5
There's my father.

6
He came by for the beer.

7
Whoa. Oh, my God. Look at this.

8
Oh, my God!

9
Happy birthday, Donna

10
Whoa, whoa

11
I didn't get to blow out my candles.

12
But I do remember my wish.

13
That I could get as far away

14
from Silver Springs as possible.

15
Well, that didn't happen.

16
Come on, sweetie.

17
My mom, always optimistic,

18
was on her fourth husband, Pete.

19
Come on, baby. Come on.

20
Ugh. What happened?

21
Rodney. His son.

22
No need for DNA testing on that one.

23
I still had my mind on a different life

24
beyond Silver Springs.

25
Then I met Tommy, the high school quarterback.

26
Boy, was he a great kisser.

27
Together, I knew we were going places.

28
He went as far as assistant manager at Big Lots

29
and used his pull to get me a job in the luggage department.

30
This is the best bag money can buy. Bar none.

31
You've got the nylon twill with DuPont protective coating.

32
This is the bag you use when you fly?

33
Well...

34
I've actually never been on an airplane,

35
but if I ever get to go on one,

36
this thing is gonna follow me around like my own little dog.

37
My birthday came,

38
and I didn't have to make the same old wish.

39
Tommy and I had found our way out.

40
Hey. I caught you.

41
Donna. Hey.

42
I thought you didn't get off till 8:00.

43
I got Becky to cover for me.

44
Oh.

45
Oh!

46
Now that you're here...

47
Let me have the card.

48
No, no. It's silly.

49
Just forget about it. It's actually kind of corny.

50
Hey, I brought that dress that you like.

51
Want to watch me change?

52
- No, hey, Donna. - Ah!

53
Don't read that.

54
Come on. I like things that are corny.

55
You're breaking up with me?

56
In a birthday card?

57
Why?

58
Well, they don't make breaking-up cards.

59
I thought that...

60
We had plans.

61
Donna, don't take this the wrong way.

62
I decided to take somebody else to Tucson.

63
Somebody else?

64
Yeah.

65
Linda from Lawn Chairs.

66
Actually, it's Brenda in Barbecues.

67
Look, Donna, you're a great girl.

68
Really, you are.

69
But with this promotion and transfer to Tucson,

70
I just need to shake things up a bit.

71
Business is business.

72
Come on, Donna. Face it.

73
You're a small-town girl.

74
You belong here.

75
We're back with more "Pure Oxygen,"

76
talking to Sally Weston.

77
Can you tell our viewers

78
the moment you decided to change your life?

79
I left my job at Big Lots

80
and thought about becoming an alcoholic.

81
Just kidding.

82
But then something happened.

83
There I was with garbage in front of me.

84
The worst moment of my life.

85
I thought, "What am I gonna do?"

86
For a second I was real scared.

87
Since I was a girl, all I heard from people was,

88
"You are nothing. Nothing is what you deserve. "

89
But that night something clicked.

90
And I just knew I was worth something.

91
From a little girl in West Texas

92
to the world's most famous flight attendant.

93
Author of "My Life in the Sky. " Can we get a shot of that?

94
Motivational speaker.

95
I'm curious. Why'd you pick flying?

96
No matter how much I love that sleepy little town,

97
none of my dreams were waiting down there.

98
They were waiting up there.

99
And frankly, people, no matter where you're from,

100
no matter who people think you are,

101
you can be whatever you want.

102
But you got to start right now.

103
Right this second, in fact.

104
But how?

105
You should start by buying my book.

106
I agree. But you can't have my copy.

107
"My Life in the Sky. "

108
We'll be right back with more "Pure Oxygen. "

109
I took Sally's advice.

110
Sure, Sierra Airlines wasn't the biggest and the best.

111
It was the smallest and the absolute worst.

112
But everybody has to start somewhere.

113
Donna, why do you want to be a stewardess?

114
Well, for all the travel opportunities.

115
And for the excitement.

116
We're a budget airline. We fly from Laughlin to Fresno.

117
Once a week to Bakersfield.

118
We got five planes. We fly gamblers and drunks.

119
Right.

120
I want to provide those gamblers and drunks

121
with the best service in the sky.

122
You're gonna love the uniform.

123
Our motto is "Big hair, short skirts,

124
and service with a smile. "

125
Sir, please fasten your seat belt.

126
You nervous?

127
I'm Sherry.

128
Donna.

129
Welcome to Sierra.

130
As much as you can today, sweetie, just stick by me.

131
I hear we're full, but it's a piece of cake.

132
Okay.

133
Okay, the overhead bins are closed and the cabin is secure.

134
Good job. I'll do the safety.

135
Go tell the captain we're ready.

136
Okay.

137
Welcome aboard Sierra Airlines flight 312 to Fresno.

138
There are three emergency exits.

139
Captain, we are...

140
Captain?

141
Is he all right?

142
Don't worry about him.

143
He'll be fine.

144
I'll poke him with a stick, and he'll get at it.

145
If not, I'll give him his blanky and...

146
take matters into my own hands.

147
Steve. Steve Bench.

148
Call me Copilot Steve.

149
I'm Donna Jensen.

150
I'm a trainee.

151
You nervous, Donna?

152
Nah.

153
Well, yeah. A little bit.

154
Well, don't worry.

155
I've had only two near-misses and a couple of minor crashes.

156
I chalk it up to experience, and I'm feeling better about it.

157
I'm joking.

158
I knew that.

159
If there's anything I can do, you come up here. Okay?

160
Put your hands on your knees.

161
They don't want them flailing about if we crash.

162
I'm gonna teach you

163
All about loving

164
Sit yourself down and take a seat

165
All you gotta do is repeat after me

166
A- B- C

167
Easy as 1- 2- 3

168
As simple as do- re- mi

169
A- B- C

170
1- 2- 3, baby, you and me, girl

171
It's just like a roller coaster.

172
You ever been on a plane before?

173
Well, yeah.

174
I mean, you know.

175
Sometimes it helps if you don't look down.

176
I'm doing great.

177
Shit!

178
- It's just the wheels. - We lost the wheels?

179
No, Donna. Relax.

180
I am relaxed!

181
Oh! Oh!

182
We're gonna crash!

183
Oh, my God! We're gonna crash!

184
- Come back here! - We're gonna crash!

185
We're gonna crash!

186
Sit down!

187
Thank you. Fly with us again.

188
- Enjoy the sights. - Thanks.

189
How you doing?

190
I was terrible.

191
I couldn't walk. I spilled the coffee.

192
I totally freaked out the passengers.

193
It wasn't exactly a frozen lake up there.

194
Turbulence is tough. You'll get the hang of it.

195
Am I gonna get fired?

196
- I'm gonna get fired. - Nobody's getting fired.

197
Really. You're gonna be a pro.

198
You're going places.

199
You think?

200
I'm a pilot. It's my job to know where people are going.

201
One for you.

202
Put your seat in the upright position.

203
Ma'am, would you put your tray table up?

204
To fasten your seat belt, insert the metal fitting.

205
Before long, I was flying full- speed ahead.

206
I even got my own trainee. Christine.

207
There wasn't a lot to do on weekends.

208
There was always tanning at Lake Havasu.

209
I can't believe your boyfriend owns this whole houseboat.

210
If you don't marry him, I am gonna kill you.

211
First of all, sweetie, Herb ain't asked me.

212
Oh, my God!

213
What's wrong?

214
My clasp broke.

215
There's some safety pins in a shoebox in the bedroom closet.

216
Go topless.

217
You are a very bad influence on me.

218
Thank you.

219
Mmm-mmm. Lake Patrol at 2:00.

220
Hey, Sherry. Herb around?

221
Don't know. Might be inside.

222
What'd he do? Take a leak in the lake?

223
The guy ran off with my flare gun and never returned it.

224
Well, you have my permission to teach that man a lesson.

225
Oh, Ted, this is Christine.

226
It's a pleasure to meet you.

227
Hey, let me know if you need any backup.

228
I might take you up on that.

229
Freeze!

230
I am so sorry.

231
I thought you were Herb.

232
Do I look like a Herb?

233
No, ma'am. You look nothing like a Herb.

234
I'd appreciate it

235
if you could find it in your heart to forgive me.

236
It's all right.

237
Who are you, anyway?

238
I'm no one. I mean I'm Ted.

239
My name's Ted.

240
Well, Ted, I'm Donna. You can uncover your eyes now.

241
It's nice to meet you, Donna.

242
My clasp broke. I was looking for a safety pin.

243
Don't move. Help is on the way.

244
Clasp, huh?

245
What are you gonna do with those?

246
Turn, please.

247
Okay.

248
You new around here?

249
Yeah.

250
I work with Sherry down at Sierra.

251
Oh.

252
Uh-huh.

253
Okay. All set.

254
Thank you.

255
It was the least I can do.

256
Being that you're new around here, I have to tell you

257
that it is my official duty to give all newcomers

258
a special guided tour on my boat.

259
- Oops. - Oops. There you go.

260
Hey.

261
You mind if I come with?

262
Okay, sure. Yeah.

263
Suddenly you're in this fight alone

264
- Whoa! - Whoa!

265
And the night's the hardest time

266
When the doubts run through your mind

267
'Cause suddenly you find yourself

268
Beautiful, huh?

269
Thank you.

270
It really is.

271
Ted, would you oil my back?

272
Okay. Yeah.

273
- Thank you. - Sure.

274
So, how'd you become an officer of the law?

275
Oh, I'm not.

276
I'm a student. A law student.

277
Or I was. At Ohio State.

278
My family's from Cleveland.

279
Was?

280
Yeah, I quit my final semester.

281
And then I went bumming around for a few months.

282
And now I'm here for a while.

283
Yeah, I quit high school.

284
Would you do my shoulders for me?

285
Why'd you quit?

286
- Well, I was... - I don't...

287
Everything was on track.

288
I was on my way to being a big-shot attorney.

289
I had a hot law firm all lined up.

290
And then I thought, "What am I doing?

291
Is this what I want?"

292
My whole life was over before it had begun.

293
I wanted to travel.

294
I wanted to see the world. Eat, drink, enjoy myself.

295
And then I had this crazy idea

296
that I would look for the thing that would make me most happy.

297
Would you mind if I saw you next weekend?

298
No, I swear, they do!

299
Can you believe we had to refuel here?

300
I mean, where are we? Bedrock?

301
- What was the bathroom like? - Awful.

302
- I love that lipstick. - Chanel.

303
Remind me. As soon as we get to New York...

304
I have to go straight to Vuitton.

305
- Are those new earrings? - The guy in Rome.

306
The guy in London. Thank God we're out of here.

307
I think I need to take a flea dip.

308
We better go.

309
Don't forget you wanted to go to the gift shop

310
and get a Toblerone.

311
Right.

312
You know what?

313
What?

314
We are as good as they are.

315
- We are? - We are?

316
We don't have to spend our lives

317
working at Sierra for some weaselly ex-bookie.

318
You know, I once worked for Pan Am.

319
Three whole months.

320
Uniforms were natural fiber.

321
What happened?

322
They went bust.

323
So you started working for Sierra?

324
I needed a job. Nobody else was hiring.

325
Well, they're hiring now.

326
Royalty Airlines job fair.

327
This weekend at the Marriot Hotel in San Francisco.

328
You guys, this could be so good.

329
Who's in?

330
Oh, oh

331
Living on a prayer

332
Take my hand

333
We can make it, I swear

334
Oh, oh

335
Living on a prayer

336
Ohhh, we're halfway there

337
Oh, Oh

338
Living on a prayer

339
Take my hand

340
We'll make it, I swear

341
Oh, Oh

342
Living on a prayer

343
This is our brochure.

344
If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

345
"No person may serve as a flight attendant

346
unless that person has demonstrated

347
to the pilot in command

348
familiarity with the necessary functions

349
to be performed in... " Oh, my God.

350
You dot your I's with little hearts?

351
That's so cute.

352
Yeah, well, it's my trademark.

353
That and my hickeys.

354
Well, a girl's got to have a skill.

355
I was excited to be interviewed by the legendary John Whitney.

356
He had been with Royalty a long time.

357
Hi.

358
I'm John Whitney.

359
Maybe a little too long.

360
This one.

361
Head of the Royalty flight- attendant trainee program.

362
Tell me, why do you want to work for Royalty Airlines?

363
I believe that I have a lot to offer your airline.

364
Because the planes are...

365
They're so much bigger.

366
Oh. My gum.

367
Why do you want to work for Royalty Airlines?

368
Oh, well...

369
I've got a lot of answers.

370
I just got to think of the right one.

371
Take your time. Collect. Gather. Go.

372
Because I'm organized and efficient.

373
I worked for Sierra Airlines, you know.

374
I put that down there.

375
Yeah, right above Hooters.

376
Hooters.

377
Right. Oh, yes.

378
If there is a task, I will not stop

379
until I have completed it perfectly.

380
Did I say "organized"?

381
- Got a question for you. - Okay.

382
What's your tolerance level for pain?

383
Physical pain.

384
Like, sexual pain?

385
Would you consider yourself a people person?

386
Oh, definitely. Big people person.

387
- Not just big people. - Not just giants.

388
- You got it. - Okay.

389
To learn and to follow through with all the tasks.

390
I'm just gonna say a few words.

391
- Okay. - Okay.

392
Didgeridoo.

393
Scooby Doo-Doo.

394
Tectonic plates.

395
Dishware.

396
Do you handle surprises well?

397
I scared you, didn't I?

398
No, no.

399
It has always been my dream to work for the best.

400
And I think you guys are the best.

401
That's just terrific.

402
You're terrific, how about?

403
No. This one.

404
It's called strabismus.

405
There's no business like "strobusiness. "

406
I get to make jokes.

407
Does anything frighten you?

408
Oh, you mean the eye?

409
I didn't notice.

410
Oh, my God.

411
You're kidding.

412
That's the way the cookie crumbles.

413
But this is so unfair.

414
You're a better flight attendant than we'll ever be.

415
I'll be fine.

416
I been thinking about quitting anyway.

417
I'm sure gonna miss you guys.

418
We're gonna miss you, too.

419
Study hard. And make me proud.

420
Congratulations to Donna Jensen.

421
Getting into the Royalty Learning Center.

422
I'm nervous.

423
People say it's really hard.

424
A lot of people don't make it past the first two weeks.

425
I don't want to be one of them.

426
Are you kidding me?

427
They would have never picked you

428
unless they thought you could handle it.

429
You're smart. You're beautiful. You're charming.

430
You're gonna do great.

431
Wow!

432
You give one hell of a pep talk.

433
I got a lot of that back home. My parents are big cheerleaders.

434
Sally always says that the greatest asset somebody can have

435
is having people who believe in them.

436
Who's Sally? Your aunt?

437
She's kind of like a friend.

438
- Oh. - Yeah.

439
Oh, you know, we're gonna have a little goodbye party

440
Friday night from 7:00 to whenever.

441
Oh, yeah.

442
Well, I'm probably not gonna make it.

443
Why not?

444
I can be happy for you that you're leaving for an hour.

445
But 7:00 till whenever, the smile won't last.

446
Yeah, our timing is kind of terrible, huh?

447
I had a really good time, and I was hoping you'd be a jerk

448
so I wouldn't feel like I was missing out by moving to Texas.

449
Well, I'm parked out there.

450
Yeah, I'm...

451
Right.

452
So...

453
The only kiss we got here is a goodbye kiss,

454
which, as kisses go, not my favorite.

455
So...

456
- Goodbye, Donna Jensen. - Bye.

457
Good luck in school.

458
Oh, thank you.

459
Don't run with scissors.

460
Why can't all choices be simple?

461
Why can't they all be window or aisle?

462
Coffee or tea?

463
Not career or romance.

464
B. That's a fun one.

465
Now take off.

466
- Hi. - Hi.

467
I'm John Whitney.

468
Head of the Royalty flight- attendant trainee program.

469
Welcome and congratulations, Dana.

470
It's Donna.

471
Sure. Okay.

472
Good to see you, Mary.

473
It's Christine, actually.

474
Sure. Okay. Great.

475
What we have here is your Royalty Airlines amenities kit

476
containing airport codes and regulation manuals,

477
your registration packet, campus rules,

478
and information about our mentor program.

479
Yeah.

480
You two will be staying in dorm C.

481
That's a fun one. Yeah. Questions?

482
None. Good.

483
All right. Take off.

484
- Hi. - Hi, Cindy.

485
- Oh, my God. - Janette.

486
Sure. Okay.

487
Sally Weston is a mentor?

488
Sally Weston!

489
So, who is this Sally Weston person, anyway?

490
Who is Sally Weston?

491
Only the author of "My Life in the Sky. "

492
Hmm.

493
Sally Weston represents an ideal

494
of poise and beauty and accomplishment

495
that every flight attendant should strive to achieve.

496
Oh, I like her hair.

497
Hello?

498
Yes, this is she.

499
We'd love to.

500
Oh, my God.

501
Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon?

502
We could float among the stars together

503
You and I

504
For we can fly

505
Up- up and away

506
Howdy! Welcome aboard!

507
Howdy!

508
More white wine, girls?

509
Yes, please.

510
Oh, I'm sorry. How about you, Randy?

511
Just consider me one of the girls, Mr. W.

512
This is a really big house you have, Mrs. Weston.

513
Thank you. Jack built it.

514
Along with the rest of Rancho Esmeralda community.

515
- The whole thing? - With my bare hands.

516
How did you all meet?

517
Oh, that is a cute story.

518
Jack was flying to Maui to build the Kaanapali Towers resort.

519
I was serving him. This was first-class.

520
He must have pushed that call button 20 times.

521
"More warm nuts. More warm nuts. "

522
No man alive could eat that many warm nuts.

523
So then, when I saw this huge pile

524
of warm nuts under his seat, it hit me.

525
It wasn't the nuts he wanted. It was me!

526
Oh!

527
Where have you been all my life, Mr. Man?

528
What was it like, Mrs. Weston, when you started flying?

529
Sally, please.

530
Oh, it was wonderful.

531
The exotic cities.

532
Yeah, I hear all those Europe guys are uncircumcised.

533
Nope. Not all.

534
So, is it difficult to get those international routes?

535
- You have to have seniority. - Should I apply now?

536
And even then, you have to speak several languages

537
and serve impeccably.

538
Oh, but it was worth it. It was different then.

539
People dressed for flights.

540
It was like every night going to the opera.

541
Every night was...

542
Magic.

543
Oh!

544
- You scared me. - Sorry.

545
There's something I want to show you.

546
This is all yours?

547
You bet.

548
It's everything I wanted.

549
You can have everything you want, too, if you stay focused.

550
Follow your head, not your heart.

551
What do you mean?

552
I sense something in you, Donna. Something special.

553
What is it?

554
Hunger.

555
You do?

556
Mm-hmm. I had it myself.

557
I wanted Paris. First-class international.

558
And nothing less.

559
So today this is all mine.

560
You're just like me, Donna.

561
My old uniform.

562
Oh, that is so beautiful.

563
Well, of course it is. We're Royalty.

564
Oh, it suits you.

565
Feel the fabric.

566
It's so...

567
Soft?

568
And luxurious?

569
Paris. First-class international.

570
Donna, say it.

571
Paris. First-class international.

572
It's the only road to happiness.

573
Paris. First-class international.

574
It's your destiny.

575
Ten-hut!

576
At ease.

577
Welcome aboard.

578
You should all be very, very proud.

579
The simple fact that you're here

580
at the Royalty Learning Center

581
means you've joined a very special family.

582
The Royal... ty family.

583
Our first goal here at Royalty Airlines

584
is to bring back the style and the glamour

585
to the art of flying.

586
In the coming weeks, I'll impart to you

587
the necessary hands-on training

588
for you to function at the highest level.

589
Up there.

590
But don't expect an easy road.

591
No, no, no.

592
An easy road... comma... don't expect one.

593
I will not hold your hand. I'm not even gonna touch it.

594
Now, what I want all of you to do is to stand up.

595
Come on. Let's go. Stand up.

596
And I want you to look underneath your seat. Go ahead.

597
Taped to the bottom, each of you will find a $ 1 bill.

598
Now, what did we learn from this exercise?

599
We learned you have to get off your ass to make a buck.

600
Down.

601
Thank you.

602
Now, we don't actually learn to make bucks here,

603
but we do learn to treat our passengers...

604
...like royalty.

605
Yeah.

606
So, shall we get started?

607
There's an oxygen mask up above you...

608
On a hidden shelf.

609
Before helping the people who love you,

610
put it on yourself.

611
- Excuse me, miss. - Yes?

612
This is first class.

613
I want my hand towels. I want my little booties.

614
And I want my warm nuts!

615
Warm nuts. Here you go.

616
You call these warm nuts?

617
I've felt warmer nuts on a polar bear!

618
Stop it!

619
No.

620
What did we learn here?

621
Upon encountering a DP, or a disgruntled passenger,

622
take the following steps.

623
"A"... Listen.

624
Two... Acknowledge.

625
And "C"... Explain.

626
And on a more personal note,

627
I have actually felt a polar bear's nuts. Yeah.

628
Quite toasty warm.

629
Get those masks on!

630
Louder!

631
There's an oxygen mask up above you

632
on a hidden shelf.

633
Before helping the people who love you...

634
We learned to keep our heads,

635
to stay calm, and to not get freaked out, okay?

636
Just remember the H.A.L.T. principle.

637
Disgruntled passengers are hungry, angry, lonely, tired,

638
and have a skewed vision of the world.

639
Okay. So that's H.A.L.T.S.

640
Hungry, angry, lonely, tired, skewed vision.

641
H.A.L.T.S.V.W.

642
Go!

643
"Asses the window... "

644
Okay. Stop.

645
What?

646
It's assess the window. Not "asses" the window.

647
You put the wrong em-phasis on the wrong syl-lable.

648
...with a skewed world view,

649
so really, it's V.I.C.T.I.M.S.W.V.

650
But you get my point.

651
Assess the window! Is it good to go?

652
Drop! Drop!

653
Remove your shoes! Don't take anything with you!

654
Whoa! Yes.

655
Eleven seconds! The trainee record!

656
What's the matter?

657
Who am I kidding? I'm never gonna fly a 747.

658
Headed right for Royalty Express.

659
Probably wind up in Cleveland.

660
Christine, stop being so hard on yourself.

661
- You just have to concentrate. - That's easy for you to say.

662
You're headed for New York and London.

663
I am not smarter than you, okay?

664
Who cares, anyway, what to do in a water landing?

665
They don't land in the damn water.

666
They crash.

667
People always say that everyone's good at something.

668
That everyone has some sort of hidden skill.

669
What if I don't?

670
What if there's nothing that I'm good at?

671
What about your hickeys?

672
Yeah.

673
Oh. Come on.

674
Would you stop beating yourself up?

675
You are gonna get through this.

676
Here's what we're gonna do.

677
Dry those little eyes.

678
Where'd you get these?

679
Oh, from Sally Weston's house.

680
There's a whole bunch of them. Aren't they cool?

681
You stole them?

682
No. They're guest soap.

683
We were guests.

684
They were there for us.

685
Yeah, to use, you know? Not to take.

686
Come on. Everybody does it.

687
It's no big deal.

688
Excuse me. Didn't you read chapter 7?

689
- Chapter 7. - Employment and ethics.

690
If you get caught stealing anything,

691
you will get fired like that.

692
You're not mad at me, are you?

693
No.

694
Yes!

695
Time's up.

696
Pencils down. Books closed.

697
Remember to write your identification number

698
on the front of the exam booklet and pass it forward.

699
So, how'd you do?

700
New York, here I come.

701
Thank you.

702
Thanks so much for listening. Thank you.

703
Can I get my picture with you?

704
I would love that. Where do you want to do it?

705
- Okay. - Can you get the "R" in it?

706
Say "Royalty. "

707
Repeat after me. First-class international.

708
First-class international.

709
Cincinnati. That's not that bad.

710
Miami! I got Miami!

711
Oh, my God!

712
Oh, my God! I can't believe it!

713
Hey, Donna!

714
I got New York.

715
There must be some mistake.

716
Ms. Jensen, try and take this news with the poise and grace

717
that one associates with Royalty Airlines.

718
We expect our employees to behave in a professional manner

719
and to handle setbacks with integrity.

720
Screw integrity!

721
I am not going back to commuter!

722
Oh, my God.

723
I can't believe this is happening.

724
This cannot be happening.

725
Royalty Express, although commuter,

726
is still a member of the Royalty family, okay?

727
It's not my destiny.

728
I want my destiny.

729
Well, I'm sorry.

730
But you'll be eligible to reapply after one year.

731
One year?

732
I was the best in my class. You were there.

733
I've seen it a hundred times.

734
You peaked too soon.

735
I don't understand.

736
How do I explain this?

737
You're what we in the trainee business call

738
a "peak-too-sooner. "

739
Yeah.

740
It happens.

741
I aced that test. I want to see it.

742
- That's not procedure. - Call Sally Weston.

743
- She'll tell you. - Sally Weston.

744
Although an excellent mentor,

745
she has no authority in these matters.

746
- That is bullshit. - Want to know what's bullshit?

747
Eye exams! That's what's bullshit!

748
I wanted my destiny, too, you know!

749
I wanted to be a flight attendant, but no!

750
There's a shit stick out there called procedure, Ms. Jensen!

751
And I'm here to tell you

752
that everyone gets hit with the shit stick!

753
Eye exam! Eye exam! Eye exam!

754
Forgive me.

755
Dr. Tim at the center says when I get like this,

756
I need to refocus.

757
So just give me a second, okay?

758
Better. Okay.

759
Look, you can fly Royalty Express for a year,

760
or you can leave the airline.

761
Where am I going?

762
Let me have a look here.

763
Welcome to Cleveland Hopkins International Airport.

764
Remain seated until the aircraft has come to a complete stop

765
and the captain has turned off the "fasten seat belt" sign.

766
We know you have a choice when you travel.

767
We thank you for choosing Royalty Express.

768
I don't know if I mentioned it. I'm glad I'm working with you.

769
In Cleveland! Don't you love it?

770
Terminal Tower. Lake Erie.

771
It's like Paris, except everybody speaks English

772
and they're 30 pounds overweight.

773
We are gonna look so thin.

774
When you meet someone in the daytime,

775
you can greet them with "Bonjour!"

776
Bonjour!

777
- Bonjour! - Bonjour!

778
If you are talking to a man, you usually add "monsieur. "

779
Bonjour, monsieur.

780
- Bonjour, monsieur. - Bonjour, monsieur.

781
Good afternoon.

782
Welcome aboard Royalty Express flight 27.

783
Two in the rear and two in the front.

784
- Cheese sandwich for you? - Thanks.

785
Cheese.

786
We have one cheese left.

787
- Bologna or cheese? - Whatever.

788
Can I take this chair?

789
Sure.

790
- Hey! - What?

791
You told me to take it.

792
Ted!

793
Hey, Donna.

794
Oh, my God!

795
I'm great.

796
Oh. You didn't ask me how I was.

797
No, but now that you told me.

798
What are you doing in Cleveland?

799
I live here. Around the corner. Yeah.

800
This is Royalty's hub.

801
Well, express.

802
You're kidding.

803
Ted.

804
Oh, one sec.

805
That's my partner, Mary.

806
Hello.

807
Hi.

808
Wow.

809
She's pretty.

810
Oh, no. My school partner.

811
Oh.

812
I'm in law school.

813
Oh, my God!

814
That is so great.

815
It's unbelievable, huh?

816
So I've got one year in Cleveland.

817
Then I can reapply.

818
I've been here for six weeks, and it's not so bad.

819
Well, you're basically halfway there

820
if you're just really, really bad at math.

821
So, why'd you go back to law school?

822
I had dinner with this incredible woman

823
who was charging after her dreams and not hiding out.

824
I thought to myself, "I could do that. "

825
So I'm here now for a year. It's flying by.

826
I really miss my family, which is uncool.

827
So please don't tell anybody I told you.

828
I promise.

829
Okay, here's how I look at it.

830
Cleveland is like this great, big, giant waiting room.

831
All we have to do is put in our year

832
and somebody's gonna call our name.

833
Cleveland's like this great, big dentist's office,

834
and we're next on the list.

835
Exactly.

836
Now all we have to do

837
is think about something to occupy our time.

838
Mm-hmm.

839
Hmm.

840
For once in my life, I have someone who needs me

841
Someone I've needed so long

842
For once, unafraid, I can go where life leads me

843
Somehow I know I'll be strong

844
For once, I can touch

845
What my heart used to dream of

846
Sometimes, just when you brace yourself

847
for a really bumpy flight,

848
it's amazing how the skies can suddenly clear.

849
But between my busy schedule

850
and the extra job Ted took to pay for school,

851
I spent too many nights ordering pizza

852
and watching TN T.

853
Just a minute.

854
Small cheese pizza with everything.

855
$8 even.

856
Just call me a sucker for a man in uniform.

857
I cannot believe we got this route.

858
Oh, my God. A real business class?

859
And guess what I get to do in half an hour.

860
- Bake cookies. - Oh, my God.

861
You are so not Royalty Express material.

862
I can't believe on a test you're as bad as me.

863
You studied like crazy.

864
Get out of here.

865
The more I think about that test,

866
the more convinced I am that something got screwed up.

867
I might hire a lawyer to check into it.

868
Hey, you could help me out with that.

869
I'm not a lawyer.

870
Well, you're gonna be.

871
You think so, huh?

872
Mm-hmm.

873
How is it that you believe in me so much?

874
Somebody's got to.

875
Check out 3B.

876
Isn't he cute?

877
Aside from the headphone hair.

878
When I asked him to put his tray in its upright position,

879
he said, "That too?"

880
I mean, hello.

881
And those arms. My God.

882
He's like something out of "Men's Health. "

883
Well, I'll root for you even though it's against policy.

884
You rat me out and I'll stop letting you do my paperwork.

885
All I want is a little of what you've got with Ted.

886
Oh, God. He is great.

887
Did I tell you he wants me to meet his family for Christmas?

888
And that's bad news why?

889
For me, anything that ever has to do with family

890
is always bad news.

891
Please. Don't make me cry.

892
The thing is, Randy, I've always been this girl

893
from Silver Springs that everybody's said,

894
"You're never gonna do anything, never gonna get out of here. "

895
I just worry that if I fall in love with Ted,

896
what's gonna happen

897
to everything I've worked so hard for?

898
Okay. Fine. Don't fall in love with him.

899
That's kind of why I'm having the problem.

900
It just takes willpower.

901
You didn't fall in love with me, did you?

902
You're gay.

903
But it still took willpower, didn't it?

904
Thanks, Donna.

905
Come over here, Justin.

906
Okay. Who's next?

907
Grandma!

908
- It's from me and Ted. - What?

909
She can't hear very well!

910
It's from Donna and me!

911
Thank you, dear.

912
What is it?

913
It's an all-in-one remote control!

914
Now you don't have to fuss with all those gadgets anymore!

915
Thank you, dear. Oh, Merry Christmas, Ted.

916
Thank you, Donna.

917
Now it's your turn.

918
You said we weren't gonna do presents.

919
Just open it.

920
He said we weren't gonna do presents.

921
I said that.

922
- Oh, my God. - What do you think?

923
- You like it? - It's so beautiful.

924
It has two time zones.

925
If a passenger asks you what time it is,

926
you can think about me.

927
I love it.

928
She's a great gal.

929
I think so.

930
Oh, you're not out of the woods yet, Donna.

931
You got one more present.

932
From all of us.

933
It's the annual Stewart family uniform!

934
I got you a medium.

935
- I hope you like it baggy. - Thank you.

936
Time for the team photo! Everybody get over by Grandma.

937
- Come on, Donna. - Jensen, get in here.

938
It's a family picture.

939
Oh, no, Donna. Don't be shy.

940
Come on, Donna.

941
- It's flashing. - Quick!

942
Quick. Smile.

943
Cheese.

944
Well, you survived your first Stewart family Christmas.

945
It was good.

946
I never knew a family could be like that.

947
No fighting. No yelling.

948
Normally, that "everyone dressing the same" thing

949
would kind of freak me out.

950
But I even like that dorky red sweater.

951
Is that all that's going on in that head of yours?

952
I'm just not used to all that, you know?

953
Dan.

954
Hi, Donna. How's life treating you?

955
All right. I want to get a confirmation for tomorrow.

956
Sure.

957
We got you going to Pittsburgh on flight 285 at 0800.

958
Any chance of that Dallas route opening up?

959
Let me have a look.

960
Sorry. Nothing yet.

961
All right. Well, thank you.

962
Have a good trip, Donna.

963
Oh, my God. Christine?

964
Donna!

965
Oh, my God!

966
Oh, my God!

967
What are you doing in Cleveland?

968
My New York-L.A. flight had mechanical problems,

969
so they dumped us here for the night.

970
Oh, right.

971
God. Look at your hair.

972
Oh, yeah, I know.

973
I'm going for a more classic look.

974
Goes better with Chanel.

975
Right.

976
I have the sweetest little apartment on West 73rd Street.

977
Oh, you would be so proud of me.

978
You know what, Ted?

979
If it wasn't for Donna,

980
I would've never made it through basic training.

981
Oh, now, that's not really true.

982
It is.

983
Actually, just last week,

984
I was thinking about how well you trained me.

985
I was on the New York-to-Chicago flight, right?

986
This guy gets on. He has this huge musical case.

987
He's trying to stuff it into the overhead compartment.

988
Clearly the thing is too big. He refuses to check it.

989
So I thought, "What would Donna do right now?"

990
So I politely said to him,

991
"Either you check it or you deplane. "

992
That's not what I would do.

993
What do you mean?

994
Well, you must, as a flight attendant,

995
offer the option of buying another seat at half price

996
for that oversized item.

997
It's section 23.4 of the manual.

998
Well, I can't remember everything.

999
But you should've remembered that one.

1000
It was the last question on our exam.

1001
Say, Christine, do you have any of those little wings?

1002
My nephew's been begging me for some.

1003
They don't have them on express.

1004
Let me look.

1005
Let's see what we've got in here.

1006
Whoa.

1007
Oh, I love these.

1008
Love it, love it.

1009
I have so much garbage in here.

1010
Ah. Here we go.

1011
Future pilot.

1012
Thank you.

1013
Enjoy.

1014
There.

1015
We could do shots if you want to.

1016
Let's do shots.

1017
Want to?

1018
Paris. First-class international.

1019
Paris. First-class international.

1020
I think I'm doing very well at express.

1021
But I just can't stop thinking there was

1022
some kind of mix-up with my test.

1023
Some kind of computer malfunction.

1024
Those things mess up.

1025
They lose luggage or send bags to the wrong city.

1026
I'm afraid that's impossible.

1027
The tests are hand-graded.

1028
Oh, right. I forgot about that.

1029
I'm sorry.

1030
I'm sure there's nothing you can do anyway.

1031
Who says there is nothing I can do?

1032
I am Sally Weston.

1033
I invented this.

1034
Before me, they just pointed. True story.

1035
Wow.

1036
I did speak to John.

1037
I asked him if I could see my test.

1038
I begged him. He said no.

1039
I asked him if you could see the test, and he said no.

1040
Don't you worry about John. Did you see me on "Oprah"?

1041
I scared the hell out of that little wiener Dr. Phil.

1042
It's test 1047.

1043
Hello. It's Sally Weston.

1044
Oh, my God.

1045
Oh, my God.

1046
What is it, Donna?

1047
This isn't my test.

1048
It's my number. It's number 1047.

1049
But it isn't mine. Look at those little hearts.

1050
Time's up. Pencils down. Books closed.

1051
Remember to write your identification number

1052
on the front of the exam booklet and pass it forward.

1053
So, how'd you do?

1054
New York, here I come.

1055
I can't believe it.

1056
I trusted her. She was my best friend.

1057
Oh, my God. These answers.

1058
No wonder we sent you to express.

1059
We were being nice.

1060
I can't believe she'd steal my test!

1061
Wait a minute.

1062
That night I had you kids over for dinner,

1063
someone took my airplane soaps.

1064
Oh, my God.

1065
She is probably stealing us blind.

1066
Hell, I'll bet she's got a whole closetful

1067
of airline property.

1068
Headsets. Booze. Kosher meals.

1069
There's two things we've got to do.

1070
We got to get you retested. There's a group next week.

1071
If you do as well as I think, we can reassign you right away.

1072
How soon can you leave Cleveland?

1073
I'd just have to talk to Ted.

1074
Who's Ted?

1075
This really great guy that I'm seeing.

1076
Oh.

1077
Well, I'm afraid you've got a decision to make.

1078
Yeah.

1079
Well, what would you do?

1080
Well, I know what I did.

1081
And so do you, if you read my book.

1082
But, honey, it's your life. It's your decision.

1083
Right.

1084
Well, I'll call you later.

1085
I've got a flight back to Cleveland at 4:00.

1086
You said there were two things.

1087
I'll take care of that.

1088
Just skedaddle. Don't miss that flight.

1089
Okay. Thanks.

1090
Royalty Airlines.

1091
Hello. Internal security, please.

1092
Security.

1093
This is Sally Weston.

1094
I'm calling to report a code blue for Christine Montgomery.

1095
Put a ghost rider on her next flight.

1096
If you see any violations, I want that klepto picked up

1097
as soon as the plane hits pavement.

1098
- Miss Montgomery? - Yeah?

1099
I have to ask you to come with me.

1100
Why? Who are you?

1101
Royalty Security. Please step this way.

1102
Hey, Jensen!

1103
You were right.

1104
I can't believe it. I'm top of my class.

1105
Oh, my God.

1106
Ted, that is so great.

1107
So get your damn coat on, Jensen.

1108
We're going out to celebrate.

1109
I have to talk to you.

1110
I flew to Dallas today. Christine stole my test.

1111
You're kidding.

1112
So they're gonna retest me.

1113
Wow. That's great.

1114
When are they doing that?

1115
I got to leave right away.

1116
Okay. Sure. No problem.

1117
We'll celebrate when you get back.

1118
The thing is, if I do well on the test,

1119
I might not be back.

1120
I could get placed in New York.

1121
That's it? We don't talk about it?

1122
I come home. You're leaving?

1123
Well, we've always said

1124
that Cleveland is just a big waiting room.

1125
For me, the waiting room was my life until I met you.

1126
I'm in love with you.

1127
I can't let somebody tell me that I've seen enough.

1128
Not again.

1129
Got it. Point taken.

1130
I hated leaving Ted.

1131
Ted made me feel like I'd finally found home.

1132
The problem was, I wasn't so sure I was ready to be home.

1133
Time's up.

1134
Pencils down. Books closed.

1135
Be sure to put your identification number

1136
on the front of the exam booklet and pass it forward.

1137
Well, well.

1138
Congratulations.

1139
I just want you to know

1140
that I was against this retesting at this time.

1141
That's not procedure.

1142
But apparently, Miss Sally Weston doesn't have

1143
the same respect for procedure some of us have had to.

1144
So you'll be happy to know you got a perfect score.

1145
First time in seven years.

1146
The last time was me.

1147
So I imagine you'll have fun.

1148
Up there.

1149
Living out your destiny.

1150
Must be nice.

1151
Thank you.

1152
You're welcome.

1153
Mr. Whitney, I just want you to know

1154
I couldn't have done this without you.

1155
Yeah, right.

1156
I mean it.

1157
You are an excellent instructor.

1158
I am?

1159
Yes.

1160
That's the nicest damn thing anyone's ever said to me.

1161
I'd say we're both living our destiny.

1162
You do it, Donna Jensen.

1163
You do it for those of us that can't.

1164
I will.

1165
Thatagirl.

1166
Now you get out of here.

1167
Oh, and, Donna.

1168
Fly away.

1169
It's a long way out the gate

1170
Just to glimpse your fate

1171
Just to see whether it all works out

1172
And it's a long road, a heavy load

1173
You got to really wanna go

1174
And just let the others walk around you, now

1175
Up and down again, but this time, it's different

1176
It took some bleeding to straighten me up again

1177
Oh, in and out of life

1178
At times, it was difficult

1179
I got a new life, baby

1180
It takes some getting used to, but

1181
No sign of any rain

1182
My skies are clear today

1183
I keep bracing for that rain

1184
But there's no sign of any

1185
No obstacles in sight

1186
My skies are clear tonight

1187
I keep thinking I might see that cloud arrive

1188
Oh, but there's no sign of it

1189
No, no sign of it

1190
I got a new life, baby

1191
It takes some getting used to, but

1192
No sign of it

1193
No, no sign of it

1194
Donna.

1195
Christine.

1196
- Hi. - God.

1197
Did you hear the bad news?

1198
What?

1199
I got fired.

1200
Busted for stealing.

1201
Yeah.

1202
So I just wanted to come here and say goodbye.

1203
Donna.

1204
You know, isn't it amazing

1205
how there was a ghost rider on my flight?

1206
Well...

1207
And another thing.

1208
I just can't help wondering.

1209
How does someone go from Royalty Express

1210
to International in such a short period of time?

1211
Excuse me, Christine.

1212
I had you figured out from day one, Donna.

1213
What did you say?

1214
You just couldn't stand the fact that I was prettier than you.

1215
That I was more fun than you.

1216
That everyone loved me.

1217
All I did was try to help you out.

1218
And you stabbed me in the back.

1219
I never stabbed you in the back, Donna.

1220
You switched our exams.

1221
Well, if you're gonna nitpick.

1222
And you left me rotting in Cleveland

1223
while you went and dotted your I's

1224
with those tacky, little hearts in New York City.

1225
Someone had to put you in your place.

1226
Little miss perfect.

1227
"Oh, excellent, Donna. " "Way to go, Donna. "

1228
"Is it hard to get international lines, Mrs. Weston?"

1229
Throwing yourself all over that stupid Ted.

1230
You know what? You make me sick.

1231
Leave Ted out of this.

1232
Just because you're pissed off that he wanted me and not you.

1233
Get your hands off me.

1234
Oh, I'm scared, Donna.

1235
What are you gonna do, throw one of your books at me?

1236
Don't you walk away from me.

1237
Ow!

1238
Good Lord.

1239
Out of the way, please.

1240
Get her leg.

1241
You know what?

1242
You got that fancy uniform and that $40 haircut!

1243
But I see right through you!

1244
Right to the inside!

1245
Welcome aboard.

1246
- Champagne or caviar? - Nothing for me. Thanks.

1247
Sir, champagne or caviar?

1248
I'm fine. Thank you.

1249
Would you care for some champagne or caviar?

1250
No, thank you.

1251
I would like a vodka straight up, though.

1252
Champagne and caviar. Extra- wide seats.

1253
And no bologna or cheese.

1254
This was first class.

1255
Bonne journ? madame.

1256
Hello?

1257
Bonjour.

1258
Donna?

1259
I'm in Paris.

1260
Well, good for you. I knew you'd get there.

1261
Can I pick 'em or can I pick 'em?

1262
Rudolph, you're not tenderizing meat, for God's sake!

1263
I really wanted to say thank you.

1264
Well, don't spend all day on the phone.

1265
Go out and see the city.

1266
What was I gonna write?

1267
"I love you but I left you"?

1268
I'll just start with, "Paris is beautiful. "

1269
Miss, thank you very much.

1270
As soon as everyone takes their seats,

1271
we'll be ready to leave the gate.

1272
If we're going to be late, I have to make a call.

1273
Oui, oui.

1274
Oh!

1275
- Oh, monsieur! - Oh! Oh!

1276
Oh! Oh!

1277
Thank you.

1278
Good morning.

1279
This is a call for Donna Jensen.

1280
This is Jim Donahue with Royalty International scheduling.

1281
You're on for tomorrow. 6:00 a. m. Flight 698.

1282
Donna, it's Joan with Royalty International.

1283
Your schedule has been changed.

1284
You're headed to Lisbon on flight 432 at 1300 hours.

1285
You'll be back...

1286
You'll be on flight 643...

1287
Donna, Jim Donahue.

1288
Hi, Donna. This is Joan with Royalty.

1289
You're flying to Stockholm via London.

1290
That's in two weeks. Flight 602 with Captain Hanson.

1291
Hi, Donna. It's Paige.

1292
I know you just got back from Geneva.

1293
How about a quick trip to Brooklyn?

1294
We're having our Christmas open house tonight.

1295
Please come. It'll be fun.

1296
Some of the other girls are gonna be there.

1297
Call me, okay?

1298
Donna!

1299
- Hi. - Hey.

1300
I'm so glad you came.

1301
- Thanks for having me. - Come on in.

1302
Oh, my. That looks so good.

1303
Thank you so much.

1304
Donna, you got to get in there and start mingling

1305
with some of the straight guys.

1306
We had them shipped in here especially for you

1307
from Jim's work.

1308
Oh, thank you.

1309
God, you look really nice.

1310
Are you serious?

1311
Man, I'm so beat. I really need this rest.

1312
Well, I think you look great.

1313
Oh, shoot.

1314
Can you just give them the address?

1315
123 Clinton. Clinton and Pierpont.

1316
Hello?

1317
Oh, Bob. It's Donna Jensen.

1318
Oh, when do you need her?

1319
Really? Tomorrow?

1320
But that's Christmas Eve.

1321
You know what? I'll take it.

1322
Yeah, I could really use the shift.

1323
Christmas in Paris? It's a dream.

1324
Okay. I'll see you there.

1325
Was that Kim and Nancy?

1326
Are you happy with your long-distance carrier?

1327
- I said you were. - Can you believe them?

1328
I guess they just figure everyone's home.

1329
Will you pose for photos?

1330
So I'm waiting by the phone

1331
For the blessed ring

1332
Like a holy grail

1333
For the Fisher King

1334
Time is ticking down

1335
Like a metronome

1336
Rhythm for my brain

1337
And its ceaseless games

1338
I never seem to play them to the beat I hear

1339
Though my heartbeat is a beat that beats so near

1340
So I'm changing who I am

1341
'Cause what I am's not good

1342
And I know you love me now

1343
Is that Donna Jensen?

1344
Sally!

1345
What are you doing here?

1346
We're creatures of habit. Jack and I.

1347
We have Christmas in Paris. New Year's in New York.

1348
Wow. How exciting.

1349
Really not.

1350
Were you here for Christmas, too?

1351
Yes, I was.

1352
Gosh.

1353
The Champs-Elys憇 and the lights.

1354
I loved it.

1355
Did I ever tell you about a nasty habit

1356
flight attendants pick up on the job?

1357
No.

1358
We learn to always keep smiling.

1359
Even when we're out of Bloody Mary mix.

1360
Do you remember that guy I was telling you about? Ted.

1361
Of course.

1362
Oh, I just really miss him. That's all.

1363
Well, what's the problem?

1364
Go fly and see him.

1365
Well, I can't.

1366
I took your advice, and we broke up.

1367
My advice?

1368
Well, sort of.

1369
In your book, you say,

1370
"Don't ever let anything get in the way of your destiny. "

1371
Darling, I don't think you read carefully enough.

1372
What I also said was that every pilot needs a copilot.

1373
And it is awful nice to have someone

1374
sitting there beside you.

1375
Especially when you hit some bumpy air.

1376
Oh, I just really miss him.

1377
I just wish I could get him back.

1378
The last time I checked,

1379
you were a girl who could make things happen.

1380
So stop feeling sorry for yourself.

1381
And stop worrying about what he'll say.

1382
You're right.

1383
I'm gonna do it.

1384
All right. But we have to move fast.

1385
There is a 9:00 p. m. direct from Paris to Chicago.

1386
If you got the last connection out of O'Hare,

1387
that would put you into Cleveland in...

1388
12 hours.

1389
Who am I gonna get to cover my shift?

1390
Are you kidding?

1391
I still give the best oxygen-mask demo

1392
in the business.

1393
Get going.

1394
Pierre, I need a uniform tout de suite.

1395
Welcome to New York, where the local time is 7: 13 a. m.

1396
I'd like to personally thank you for flying with us today

1397
and remind you that the last one off the plane has to clean it.

1398
Lying in my bed

1399
I hear the clock tick

1400
And think of you

1401
Caught up in circles

1402
Confusion is nothing new

1403
You say go slow

1404
I fall behind

1405
The second hand unwinds

1406
If you're lost, you can look and you will find me

1407
Time after time

1408
If you fall, I will catch you

1409
I'll be waiting

1410
Time after time

1411
Hello?

1412
Ted?

1413
Hi, Mrs. Stewart.

1414
I'm Donna.

1415
I don't know if you remember me. I'm Ted's friend.

1416
We got you that little clicker thing for the TV.

1417
Remember?

1418
Is Ted here?

1419
I messed up.

1420
I really did.

1421
I thought that I was getting everything

1422
that I wanted, and...

1423
I thought Paris and...

1424
first class would make me happy.

1425
But... it didn't.

1426
'Cause...

1427
if you don't have that person to come home to,

1428
then going away is just...

1429
I love him.

1430
And I just wanted to tell him that he made me happy.

1431
Who are you?

1432
You haven't heard a single word I've said, have you?

1433
I did.

1434
I love you.

1435
And I want to stay. I do.

1436
Are you sure?

1437
And you're gonna be happy?

1438
Yep.

1439
In Cleveland?

1440
How are you gonna be happy in Cleveland?

1441
'Cause you're in Cleveland.

1442
I'm sorry.

1443
Me too.

1444
Sally had said

1445
that life is a series of arrivals and departures.

1446
But I learned there is more than one way

1447
to spread your wings.

1448
Ladies and gentlemen...

1449
welcome to Cleveland Hopkins International Airport.

1450
Keep your seat belts fastened until we reach the gate.

1451
We know you have a choice when you travel.

1452
We thank you for choosing Royalty Express.

1453
If this is just a stopover for you,

1454
we wish you a safe, pleasant continuation of your journey.

1455
If Cleveland is your final destination...

1456
welcome home.

1457
Don't stop believing

1458
Mark.

1459
That is bull S.

1460
You want to know what's bull S? Eye exams!

1461
You can't keep laughing at that.

1462
That's evil.

1463
I'll get it.

1464
Cut!

1465
Infinity flight two-niner-niner-zero,

1466
you are cleared for takeoff on runway six.

1467
Nine!

1468
D'oh!

1469
I am a kitten.

1470
I'm okay.

1471
Got to take off. Don't I wish.

1472
I can't do it.

1473
I can't hear you!

1474
Before helping the people who love you,

1475
put it on yourself.

1476
This ain't your mama's house!

1477
Questions?

1478
None.

1479
Got to take off.

1480
Don't I wish.

1481
I am Sally Weston.

1482
Muffin!

1483
How long do dogs live?

1484
I love being a turtle!

1485
Like the Mutant Ninja Turtles.

1486
Okay. What did we learn?

1487
Okay. Let me try it again.

1488
Okay, class, what did Randy forget?

1489
- Mary? - Christine.

1490
No.

1491
Donna?

1492
I know this.

1493
Randy?

1494
I forgot to buy him a drink?

1495
And that is procedure.

1496
Oh.

1497
We are Royalty

1498
Flying just as high as can be

1499
We are Royalty

1500
Safety is our policy

1501
There's an o xygen mask up above you

1502
On a hidden shelf

1503
Before helping the people who love you

1504
Put it on yourself

1505
Use your seat belts, as if you don't know

1506
Make it nice and tight

1507
Take a look at the exits

1508
They're up ahead

1509
To your left and right

1510
We are Royalty

1511
Flying just as high as can be

1512
We are Royalty

1513
Safety is our policy

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